The last laugh. No, Really!

Avatar Author: Petros I have a wife, two kids, a cat and a mortgage. I design and maintain websites for a living and have never considered myself a writer. I like board wargaming, drawing and I also attempt to play the trombone. Hopefully, I'm... Read Bio

The Big Crunch Church of The Final Deliverance (BCCOTFD) was on the final countdown.

Long ago, it was thought there was not enough matter in the Universe to slow down the expansion of the Big Bang and draw things back to a final singularity.

But then -

“Oh bugger!” said humanity’s greatest scientist. “We forgot to carry the ‘2’. Gravity WILL reverse expansion and all will end in a Big Crunch.” he decreed.

And now here it was. After 45 billion years, the Universe would end today in just a few more minutes.

The BCCOTFD faithful stared into the heavens! Countless stars, planets, whirls of dark and light matter, whole galaxies by the billion were all coming together in a majestic cascade of indescribable beauty and raw terror.

The multitudes prayed and screamed in orgasms of heavenly ecstasy as the End of All Things finally arrived! 5…4…3…2…1…CRRRUNCH!

Once again, all was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

“You really are an asshole, Jehovah!” laughed Satan…

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Comments (3 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Petros

    A lot of people die in my stories. Is it possible I have jumped the shark here…?

  2. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    I think seeing the sky with stars and galaxies colliding would be awesome, but the last line is quite tongue in cheek and some may not like it. I get it, but I’m left wondering whom is worse at the end.

  3. Avatar astronouth7303

    I enjoyed the kick at the end quite a bit.

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