The Indecisive Villain

Avatar Author: Garsecg A very strange man whose strangeness is only partially due to Asperger's Syndrome. He is an English major and now a grad student, in case you couldn't tell, fighting a constant struggle to set aside some little time for ... Read Bio

In the Pit of Oblivion, the Chancellor said to the Underlord: “The Gray Invocation of the Spirit of Annihilation is all but ready. We only need gather some dragon bones, and…”

“No, no, wait,” said the Underlord. “I have a better idea. Why don’t we wear Legend Arcane down by sending all his enemies against him at once?”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Every single villain tries that and it never works. And this is the third time this week alone you’ve changed plans. If you’d conquered as many worlds as you’ve made up plans, we’d have won already!”

“But I’ve already outlined it. See?” He rummaged around in his notebook of evil plans (bound in human skin) and showed the Chancellor a flowchart.

“Enough with these God-blessed flowcharts! Do you seriously think the universe will tremble before someone who uses flowcharts?”

“I don’t see why not. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we capture the sun and hold it for ransom?”

“For Satan’s sake, just pick a plan and stick with it. The universe isn’t conquering itself.”

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Garsecg

    Couldn’t resist adding to my own challenge, sorry. I won’t declare this winner, though.

    Other generators used: Adventure Site, Dark Ritual, Extreme Fantasy Name

  2. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    rofl! I am reminded a little of myself, but I’m more indecisive in the can’t-choose-an-option kinda way. ;)

  3. Avatar Oy

    I’m surprised the chancellor isn’t dead yet…

  4. Avatar Sanglorian

    I always find humorous fantasy a little strained, but I enjoyed this piece. It’s a nice break from either infinitely competent villains or seemingly competent villains who end up stuffing up.

  5. Avatar Kermitgorf

    Silly fun, love the banter. Very neil gaimanish

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