Sadness stirs, sticking to roof of mouth like pulled taffy with bittersweet aftertaste. Realization of loneliness peaks at curves, smooth and too-soft skin and an aching sensation underneath rough palms. Ache of loss, of vivid memory. Mouth gone dry at thought of pressing against lips, down neck, past breasts and between thighs. Ache deepens, pumps regret into collapsed veins.

Photograph slips loose onto carpet.

Knees collapse from weight of years on weakened shoulders. Pillow is strangled between twisting arms. Face buried into fibers renders it moist. Space between fibers struggles to muffle sobbing. Strength inside man struggles to cope with wracking shudders. Despair deepens, punches longing through rusted armor.

“You’ve crawled home from worse than this,” an angel reminds.

Beat in heart stutters, threatens to stop. Breath in lungs thickens, exhales slowly. Knuckles dig at eyes, wipe at tears. Muscles in jaw clench. Ache deepens, leaves hollow circles underneath blurry eyes.

Not worse than this.