The Seven Against One

Avatar Author: Sanglorian I've committed to make five comments for every story I post. As of 29/3/12, I've got four comments for every story. I'm an Arts/Law student living in Australia. I'm passionate about progress, science, duty and humanity... Read Bio

The plan was simple, even elegant. It was also a catastrophic failure. It began in a swirl of colour and faith.

The strange and patchwork world that Jenny brought them to had all the hallmarks of the Enemy. Hyacinths carpeted hills scarred with chalk drawings. Temples flecked with obsidian shards jutted through the jungle and an armoured bear, its neck yellow like the sun, paced until it saw the seven.

It growled a greeting. Jenny smiled winningly at it, and it charged.

‘Strength of Hercules, help me now!’ the Marvel yelled and wrestled with the bear, who smashed its iron gauntlets into his jaw.

Thoth-Amon spoke an incantation, his voice breaking halfway through. His body had changed and he moved his long limbs and broad shoulders awkwardly. Bear and man rose into the air, their cuffs merely sending their foe gently floating away.

‘Uh, maybe we can talk this through,’ Thoth-Amon said.

The bear hissed at Jenny Everywhere. ‘That woman will be the world’s destruction, mark my words.’

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  1. Avatar Sanglorian

    My thoughts for the Seven, although since only the Marvel and Thoth-Amon appear here it’s really up to sequellers:

    The Marvel, a hero with the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles and the speed of Mercury.

    The Nameless, a yeoman bounty hunter.

    Thoth-Amon, a Stygian sorcerer. He is only now hitting puberty, and he’s never spoken to a girl his age – only sacrificed them to his dark serpent god Set.

    Lilith, a dark-skinned vampire from Prester John’s kingdom, who lived in a church cut into the rock and who remembers the birth of the world.

    And I’m not sure about the spy and archaeologist.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Bizarre and magical which is fun, though I have no idea what’s going on there in the middle with the cuffs and the air and that Thoth guy doing something.

  3. Avatar Sanglorian

    Hey THX, it could definitely use some work.

    What I was trying to describe is Thoth using some sort of sorcery to levitate the two combatants into the air, where hitting one another would cause them to float harmlessly away from each other.

  4. Avatar Cheesy80s

    This is a great opening. I assume it’s an opening. It gives enough bizarre descriptions to keep me reading, and it’s engaging right off the bat with an almost lyrical opening. And the end quote is a winner. My only complaint is having her “smile winningly.” I’m of the old school thought that adverbs should be avoided.

  5. Avatar Ben Adams

    This is a pretty fascinating chapter. Love a good armored bear.

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