Disappointment

Avatar Author: alessandrocorezzola Read Bio

I awoke from the cryogenic sleep just a few hours ago and I feel dizzy.
12.3 years of travel, and yet it feels like I left the Earth just yesterday.
The computer is reporting that everything is OK, except the total amount of fuel used is less than expected. It is almost like some weight is missing from the spaceship. Ridiculous idea.
I will be the first human being to set foot on an extra-solar planet.
I have been training for this mission for 2 years, but I have been dreaming about it for my whole life.
I will look at the alien sky from the surface of this alien planet, and maybe I will be able to pin the position of our blue planet. Maybe I will even be able to see it with my telescope.
The sight of K56 is breath taking. I cannot resist, I have to land on the surface.
But I cannot land with the spaceship: it was not designed for that purpose.
“Computer, prepare the exploration vehicle for launch”
“Shuttle not available”
“Explain”
“The shuttle was not loaded in the bay: it was left on Earth”

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Comments (3 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar alessandrocorezzola

    First story, probably quite childish but I have to start simple.

  2. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    Firstly, welcome to Ficly. Secondly, don’t put yourself down – write what you want … it’s your story after all!

    I would suggest, to start with, a little less action and a little more description. The character limit can be hard to get used to and often condenses stories down into their most basic form without allowing room for the little details that bring stories to life.

    And simple is good =)

    I would suggest spacing it out a little … putting a few blank lines here and there to make it an easier read.
    Nice start,
    Abby x

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Silly and tragic. I think Abby hit the high points on style critique, so I’ll leave it at that. An amusing little story and idea.