Followed Too Far

Avatar Author: musicgirl I'm looking to improve my writing so any feedback you can give me would be much appreciated! Read Bio

The first time I laid eyes on Vincent was the last time I stood in sunlight. It was a warm, summer day. We were both in the woods. I was sitting in a patch of sun that flickered upon the ground as the trees above swayed. He stood beneath a large oak tree, shrouded by its shade. I nearly screamed when I noticed his presence. Slowly, he raised his finger to his lips, signalling me to be quiet. His icy blue eyes stared deep into mine, and I obeyed. I wanted to speak, but couldn’t find the words.

“Come here,” he smiled.

Like a naive child, I got up and went towards him. His smile grew wider as he held my gaze. I could not look away from those eyes, nor could I stop my feet. He stretched out a long, bony finger, motioning me closer. His tantalizing beauty had clouded my mind.

I reached the tree and he grabbed my hand in his. Warmth flowed through me at his touch. Like a dazed fool, I smiled.

So entranced, I hardly even felt the bite until I saw blood seeping down my dress.

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Comments (3 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    Knew this was a vampire story from the first line! I guess in a way that made it predictable. It moves very quickly to the inevitable end. That is a good thing.

  2. Avatar Breeze

    grr… i really want to hate this, since it’s a vampire story…

  3. Avatar LittleSecrets

    It was too obvious that it was a vampire story. All I could think about was Twilight, and the scene where Bella and Edward are sitting in a field or some crap. But I suppose that all the aggressive media towards Twilight, should not affect my judgement on your story.
    However I do wonder how she knows the vampires name…what’s the backstory? Interesting…