Blind

Avatar Author: August 2nd eReaders: Monthly digests up to *December 2012* are available at https://www.box.com/shared/yg7eom74zq. Read Bio

There was no answer to my call. I folded my cane and listened to the house: no unexpected sounds but there was a musty scent to the air. The car key was on the hall table but it, like everything else I touched, was covered in a fine layer of dust. Mom was a fastidious cleaner.

When I finally found her, she was lying naked on her bed. I checked her pulse but found none. I felt her face. It was her but so changed. Her skin everywhere was drawn tight, stretched and dry. Her stomach protruded as though of malnutrition. It made no sense.

I listened for Mom’s heartbeat and heard it, very faint. I called 9-1-1.

As I maneuvered her into position for CPR, there was a sharp crack as her ribs broke, a rip as the brittle skin on her belly tore open. My hands were covered in a malodorous, viscous fluid. A single low moan escaped the rictus of her mouth.

I tried to hold closed the hole in her belly until the paramedics arrived but pulled my hands away immediately. Something large was writhing inside her.

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar August 2nd

    Commentary: This is an entry for the Get Under My Skin challenge. Sometimes the best way to do that is to literally get beneath the skin.

  2. Avatar Robert Quick

    Well done (as usual). I never liked living things inside other things like those parasitic worms that accumulate in pockets of flesh and can be pulled out. YUCK!

    I wish I had as much to offer as you give me but I don’t. The one thing that stands out visually is the last three paragraphs all begin with ‘I’ and the last two begin with ‘I tried’. I’m not sure if it matters or not.

  3. Avatar August 2nd

    @Robert: It matters and I’ve made a change. Is it enough?

  4. Avatar Robert Quick

    Absolutely.