Avatar Author: Riley itty bitty writer from humble beginnings. find me: - - Read Bio

The room was filled with an eerie darkness that made the scene that much more horrifying. I gripped Soren’s hand like I would like I would die if I let go. I used my other, blood and ash covered hand to hold his head up. I sniffed, eyes burning with tears. “I-It was worth it, right Falk?” he chocked out, taking a sharp breath in. “Yeah…It was..” I sniffled, smoothing his dirty, sooty blond hair back. He chuckled painfully, and flashed me a small smile. I laughed slightly, and hugged his head. I buried my face in his hair, and cried. “Shh…It’s gonna be ok.We’ll get out.I promise. We’ll all get out, an everything will be back to normal. I promise…” He spoke, shakily lifting a hand to my cheek. He stroked my face, “You’ll be fine Falk..Just-” He stopped mid sentence. His hand slowly fell from my face, and I could feel his head slump limply on my hand. I sniffed, and kissed his sooty lips. “I love you Soren. I always will.” I whimpered. My throat swelled as I stroked his hair. I leaned my head on his. Goodbye

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Comments (1 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    A beautiful and touching moment full of mystery and maybe some hints at magic. A lot of that gets lost in the confusion though. By convention you should be starting a new paragraph each time a different character speaks. This helps it remain clear who is speaking, something that got confusing at several points in here. Another point, you use ‘sooty’ several times; try and find a synonym or two for that. Tons of potential here.