With the Stars

Avatar Author: Reiko516 Reading, writing, and going to grad school. Read Bio

Damien gazed up at the night sky, then down upon the vessel they had constructed. “Do you think this is going to work, sir?”

The Master paused in his final launch preparations to consider the question. “Every wizard, mage, and acolyte in the University contributed their power to this project, and I personally supervised the charging of the crystals to make sure there were no mistakes in the casting. Frankly, I cannot envision it not working.”

“But, flying above the very shell of the atmosphere?” he said, voicing his misgivings. “What can we possibly hope to find beyond the clouds?”

The Master shrugged off Damien’s doubts impatiently. “You have heard my arguments at length, apprentice. Need I remind you once again the sacred purpose of this University? We seek the acquisition knowledge. What better way than to travel to places no human has seen?”

Damien still felt doubt, but the intoxicating power of curiosity slowly turned it to excitement. In mere moments, he and his Master would be with the stars.

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Ah, a nice entry to the sci-fantasy challenge. It really sets up a whole adventure for the reader to imagine…Star Trek with magic wands!

  2. Avatar Dave Oei

    I like it. A lot. However, if I may give a constructive opinion, it’s this: assume your reader is a bit smarter than you think they are. I think there are small parts of your story you could have omitted to improve flow while not losing any essence of your story. For example, I believe, “…they had constructed,” and “…mage, and acolyte,” and, “…to make sure there were no mistakes in the casting,” were not absolutely necessary. The point, that wizards are using magic to fly a ship, became very clear in the second paragraph. The reason I like the story stems from its deviation from focusing so much on the magic/tech and onto the doubt and excitement. Hope that helps!

  3. Avatar stargazer1960

    This has enticed me enough to want to know what happens next. I truly like the concept.