Ficly

Compulsive

You have to go to school today. Despite everything, your mom is making you go. She directs you to the car where you sit and fold your arms across your chest. Your stomach is upset. You’re shaking and dizzy and when you try to speak, you feel like you’re going to vomit.

She parks at the street and waves to you as you walk away.

You sit down at your desk and take out your notebook. Your English teacher is saying something, but you’re not listening. Thoughts are multiplying inside your head. Oh god, are you going to freak out again? You rush through your notebook to a familiar page.

Nearly every inch is covered with numbers. You go to the last one and underneath it you write the same number in reverse and then begin to add the two together. Everything quiets. Your stomach relaxes and you forget your thoughts. All you can concentrate on is the numbers.

If you can get through today, maybe you can convince your mom to let you ditch tomorrow. School is too much without the medication numbing you.

Relapse.

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