Setting: The minivan, en route home from an afternoon at the mall.
Time: Late afternoon.
Weather: Partly cloudy with a gentle westerly breeze in the high 60’s.
Cast: Me (the dad) and two sons, Connor (5) and Spencer (4).

Me: “Did you guys have fun at the mall today?”
Connor: “Yeah.”
Spencer: “Yes, daddy.”
Me: “What was your favorite thing you did.”
Spencer: “Uh daddy, I liked the cotton candy. And the juice.”
Me: “Really? More than the toy store or the indoor putt-putt?”
Spencer: “I like the toy store. Daddy, can you put that Batman toy on my Santa list?”
Me: “Alright. Connor, what about you?”
Connor: “I like that store with all those cool things.”
Me: “Brookstone?”
Connor: “Yeah! And daddy. They had a chair that when you sit in it, it masturbates you!”
Me: “What?!?!”
Connor: “You know, it like, rubs your back and your neck and stuff.”
Me: “You mean, massage?”
Connor: “Yeah. It’s so cool.”

Arrived home safely. Will not pry how he confused the words.