conversations with myself about a quarter and a candy bar pt. II

Avatar Author: The Fantastic Mister Fish i'm trying Read Bio

what if they notice the stains on my right jacket pocket?
what if they ask me why they’re there?
then you’ll tell them the truth.
i was heating chocolate to make icing for a cheesecake and
i set the heat too high and
the fat separated from the chocolate and
some of it splashed and—
that isn’t so hard.
yes, but what if they ask me if i like to bake?
what if they ask me what kind of cheesecake?
what if they think i’m stupid for heating it too high?
or for spilling it?
what if they laugh?
then laugh with them.
what if my laugh is strange?
it is.
what if they laugh at my laugh?
then leave!
what if the candy bar gets stuck in the vending machine?
what if my arm gets stuck in the vending machine?
what if they have to amputate?
what if they surgery goes horribly wrong?
what if the anesthesiologist is drunk and sets the nitrous level too high?
what if it gets infected and i die of sepsis?
what if—
and then i just sit there, poor and hungry.
who knew dropping a quarter could be so fatal.

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Comments (4 so far!)

  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    but the “what if I sit here and die?” question NEVER came up?? Hard to imagine.. they thought of EVERYTHING else.. hm, hindsight is 20/20..

  2. Avatar Krulltar

    One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody

  3. Avatar

    if you have to think that hard about a candy bar – it’s probably not worth the quarter. i think that’s what you’re getting at.

  4. Avatar Patroclus81

    Oh my god, this whole piece had me laughing and crying. I totally do this too.

Inspired by

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conversations with myself about a quarter and a candy bar pt. I by The Fantastic Mister Fish