I Have a Ponytail, Hear Me Roar (Shut Up)

Avatar Author: Robert Quick A no-name, aspiring author who can't stop writing. Looking ahead, he strives for perfection. Shackled by various forms of entertainment, he dreams of success. Most stories here are an invitation to YOU, to join me in cre... Read Bio

Dominic, my friend before he went to college, had shortened his name to DJ. He was back for the summer but my friend was gone, leaving behind a frat boy husk that bled visible insecurities. Now his hair was bleached and pulled back into a long ponytail. A fake diamond hung from his ear matching the fake Rolex on his wrist. Tribal tattoos around one bicep peeked out from under the sleeve of his polo shirt that he wore with the collar turned up. It was night and he still had sunglasses on. His skin had a vaguely orange tint, like Cheetos residue that could never be fully washed off.

Each piece of his persona was a part of a membership into a club I had no interest in joining and went out of my way to avoid. All that was missing was the Japanese symbol for wife beater that he thought meant prosperity.

His voice had been a little too loud all night long, the voice of a perpetual drunk, or maybe someone afraid of their own thoughts.

“Look, Bro, check out this asian tat. Dude says it means integrity.”

I sighed.

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Tad Winslow

    Yo, sick story brosef.

    Funny :)

    I was searching your tags for D-bag, or an apt variation, and I found plenty. It’s hilarious what people will do to fit in. Tattoos used to mean something. Now every suburban grown jackass has one it seems.

  2. Avatar Robert Quick

    D-bag added! Good call.

  3. Avatar Garsecg

    A very well done portrait of a very unpleasant individual.

  4. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    The title is absolutely HILARIOUS!

  5. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    I kept thinking of the Bones episode about guidos through this whole piece. :)

  6. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    It’s so weird reconnecting.

    I am 18, and a few years ago I reconnected with a friend of mine from when I was eight years old. On finding her again, I see that she is now orange, bleached blonde, with a tramp stamp and a two year old girl named Charlene. It’s scary… Would that have been me?