An Abundance of Reality

Avatar Author: falconesse This space, like many of my ficlets, is a work in progress. Read Bio

The doctors pressed their faces against the glass like children crowding a pet store window.

Jack’s chubby-cheeked daughter sat on the exam table, paper crinkling whenever she shifted to examine a toy.

“She’s doing it again. Watch.” A flurry of clicking pens and excited murmurs.

Regina picked up a rag doll and ran her fingers through its blue-yarn hair. She traced the stitches in its nose, touched her own.

“Here it comes.” They held a collective breath.

Jack hated them.

The doll began… fading. It started at the edges and worked in, growing more and more indistinct until there was nothing left. Regina looked at her empty hands and began to cry.

“We’ll run some tests, draw blood, and…” They eyed one another and fell silent. What if the girl turned her attention on one of them? They’d already lost two nurses.

And her mother.

Jack shoved past them, into the room. Regina sniffled as he held her.

“Daddy’s here.”

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Comments (13 so far!)

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  1. Avatar falconesse

    From Sz Park’s “‘She is… more real than anything.’” (http://ficly.com/stories/3015?challenge=59)

    I suppose this could be either prequel or sequel, really, something I imagine one of the doctors said.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Heart wrenching and more than a little scary. Great jump from the minimal little snippet of story. Thanks for entering the challenge!

  3. Avatar Ronnie

    Ouch. I wonder where they go…if anywhere.

  4. Avatar jesteram

    The pet store simile carries through with the puppy and lab rat references throughout. You seem to have a knack for threading images in your writing to create a line that pulls the reader along.

  5. Avatar Jessica Cahill

    Very sad, scary…wonderful.

  6. Avatar wordwill

    Scary and wonderful. I’d rather see more details and less puppy references (the pet-store window did what you needed it to), but the thing sure does work.

  7. Avatar Trann

    I like the macabre here. Regardless of what she may be to others, she’s still loved by Dad.

  8. Avatar White Marvin

    Like the way you bring the story. It creeps me a bit. If there’s a sequel, I’m totally going to read it.

  9. Avatar Zerrakhi

    I liked this, and have just published a sequel. One thing that’s nagging at me, though, is the whole “Jack hated them” thing. I’m fine with children who can make toys disappear, but I find it harder to imagine that the doctors would be doing all this without parental consent. Perhaps the consent came from the Regina’s mother, in which case there’s some domestic drama right there that someone else may be able to develop.

  10. Avatar Zerrakhi

    And I really hope my last comment doesn’t sound critical in a bad way. Unsolved mysteries bug me for much the same reason that they often motivate me. The question of why Jack doesn’t or can’t stop the doctors is one of those, but I’m better at developing the fantasy than solving the more human mysteries.

  11. Avatar falconesse

    Thankee, all!

    The “Jack hated them” line was a reaction to the way the doctors were looking at Regina — not resentment for them being there (“They’re looking at me daughter like she’s in some kind of freak show…”). I’d imagine he’s the one who brought her there in the first place, though.

    Off to check out the sequel!

  12. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    This is a co-winner in my challenge! Congratulations. For you (and anyone who stumbles back upon this great story) here is a link to your co-winner, Trann.
    http://ficly.com/stories/3116

  13. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Wow, this is really powerful. Great job, and a fascinating concept.

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