Dawn of the Iconoclast: A darkened Journey (10)

Avatar Author: Ulfr I am a writer. A writer of love, of light, of darkness, of heavy heart. I enjoy the darker side of stories, but I also love a healthy side dish of light-heartedness. I will rate occasionaly but not consistantly. I hope yo... Read Bio

Traian moved through the woods. The terrain changing from wooded, grassy hills, to rocky slopes. Traian new what he was doing, but could not help feeling a little nervous. Scared even. Then before him arose a large rock face. The red of iron and black of coal could be seen intermingled with the granite and soapstone. Before him, set deep into the rock face was a door of steel and oak. He strided forth and knocked seven times. The door opened, and Traian stepped in. A gray-bearded man looked at Traian and said.

“Are you ready?”
“Yes.” Replied Traian

With this a hood was placed on his head and he began to walk. The old man guided him through a series of tunnels running through the rock.

The tunnels were smooth. the walls were flawless. Soon they stopped and the hood was removed. Traian found himself standing alone in the center of a octagonal room. Torches burned in each of the corners.

Then slowly from each of these corners figures in monk robes walked toward him.

View this story's details


Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar Ulfr

    I did my best to write ahead and not write to much. Sorry about a few punct. errors

  2. Avatar boxofun

    This sets the scene very well, and leaves plenty of questions for the reader to look forward to see answered. That said, a few nitpicks:
    “new” → “knew”
    It might read better to describe the cave before the hood is put on, since then he wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m also curious how the hood can be removed if there is no one there with him. All these are small points and fixable, and overall I quite like the story!

  3. Avatar Ulfr

    ya the mystery of the hood bein removed by another person yet him not seeing anyone was what I was going for but did not discribe. I might correct it as I wrote it for a challenge by “Jae” so I’m not really continuing it like he is. Thanks though!

Inspired by

The figures arrayed in a circle around Traian were hooded, so that he could not see their faces though he knew each of them well. The effect ...

Dawn of the Iconoclast: The Final Thread (9) by Patroclus81