In the beginning, there was: well, nothing. It is shocking how disturbing that is to many of us. It is time for the general public to face reality, however. If we examine all the sensible alternative theories, we come to understand that each theory, regardless of who wrote it or where it came from, begins invariably with nothing. There is simply a generous gap in every theory between the constance of nothing and the appearance of something. This gap is often bridged by such enigmatic ideology as God, primordial soup, a perpetual nothingness in which we still exist, and, lastly, aliens: a sort of pseudo demigod to whom the unrighteous need not pray or from whom fear retribution for their derelict nature.