Fire Storm Australia

Avatar Author: Marli Dare to try. I like diversity and immagination. What happens next. With a B.V.A. Degree I do not get away from paper work. I am also a Registered nurse.(General, Psychiatric,Mental Retardation and hold certificates in Im... Read Bio

The fires rolled up the mountain
The embers flew over the hills
We didn’t know how the fires got here
And I guess we never will.

We tried to outrun the fires
We ran as fast as we could
But some people holed up in cars
And others in houses of wood.

In the cold grey dawn of Sunday
The death toll started to rise
A few survivors left the hills
With sadness and fear in their eyes.

When the sun shines over the mountain
And the hills are evergreen
We may forget the horror
Of that awful charred scene.

Its a day we will remember
Our own holocast
Its when the firestorm hit us
And broke a community apart.

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Comments (4 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Tragic little poem. The last stanza is a little weaker than the others, though hard to say why. I think the meter might be a bit different.

  2. Avatar Stovohobo

    Pretty nicely described poem that was interesting to read, but there were a few areas where the syllables crowd up the meter and the rhyme is a little forced. Also, the word fire is a little distracting when used so close together in the first 2 stanzas.

  3. Avatar Marli

    I agree with you THX0477 .Possibly because it leaves the reader hanging as if it is unfinished. Thanks for the feedback. Marli

  4. Avatar Marli

    I agree with this Stovohobo. I knew when I was typing theword fire. My mind overruled though. I should (and will try to proof before publishing.) Thank you for the feedback. Marli

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