Witches Are Not Included In Census Data

Avatar Author: kyle90 Read Bio

Boredom was the order of the day. Boredom and… paperwork. Who knew life on a military base would be so dull? Even for a civilian contractor.

“Sam! You’re daydreaming again. I asked you if you’ve ever seen her?” said Private Matthew Weir.

“Sorry, who?”

“The old woman. She lives out on what’s technically still army land. No one’s ever asked her to move, though. Guess she’s not bothering anyone; out in her little shack.”

“Weird. Have you?”

“Yeah, I saw her once. We were out on drill in the forest. She was picking mushrooms or something. She smiled at me but it creeped me out. Some of the guys joke that she’s a witch.”

“Haha, that’s it? She smiled at you and she’s a witch?”

“Yeah yeah, shut up. My GPS screwed up near there too, and I’ve heard people saying that nothing electronic works right.”

“Riiight. A creepy old woman and a glitchy GPS and you go all superstitious on me. Witches aren’t real.”

“I know that, Sam. It’s just a silly story.” said Matthew. He muttered to himself: “…just a silly story.”

View this story's details


Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?


Oh no! This story doesn't have a sequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    heh. I love an unorthodox character with mysterious power over other people, especially when it is just being them. :)

  2. Avatar Lighty

    I am intrigued! Nice little by play between mates, and I want to know more about this old woman…is she a witch for real?

    A few niggles: You switch names halfway through, Matthew talks to a Joe and a Sam. I also feel the first paragraph doesn’t flow with the rest, which is just conversation. It’s not even needed really, what does it add?

  3. Avatar kyle90

    Oh wow how did I not even notice that I switched names? That’s… even more scatterbrained than usual, for me. Editing now

  4. Avatar boxofun

    Well written! Is it bad if my favorite part is the title?

  5. Avatar Blossom Roquen

    Haha, no I don’t think so, boxofun :P afterall, it is a pretty witty title ;)

    I would say that in actual conversation, people rarely reiterate that something isn’t real (say, dragons, unicorns or witches). If someone told me unicorns aren’t real, straight-faced, I’d wonder if I actually Looked like an idiot.
    Know what I mean, jellybean?
    Otherwise, love it all

This story's tags are