Cost of Flight

Ahfl_icon Author: THX 0477 Dr. Tim's Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life [Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member's Only jackets] ... Read Bio

Call me
Old fashioned
Melancholic
Traditionalist

Life is a soup
Time flowing
flowing
flowing
down
down

Caught in the current
Awash in chronology
We thrash
bash
crash

Call me
Just call me
Don’t go
Bob a while
Here

Some dash
We dart
Get away
away

Flee like mice
In the dark
Gone
I’m gone
You’re gone

Tumble headlong
Charge ahead
Leave sorrow
Leave pain
Leave the past

Call out against
No, there is nothing
Save your
Voice
Still

Leave me be
Flee from me and
Memory
Leave and
Find




Isolation

View this story's details

Prequels

Sequels

Oh no! This story doesn't have a sequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    tags AND a sequel. Sounds like you find a slow current and have time to reflect in that isolation at the end. The rest of the time soup is fast. I have a feeling you went over a waterfall and found a calmer pool. Bet you can see your reflection. heh, see what I did there?

  2. Avatar remembrancer

    I am also impressed by the combination of tags, sequel, and starting and ending with said tags. But I really enjoyed how the pacing changed throughout the piece while it still managed to flow nicely. The soup analogy was very interesting as well. I wasn’t sure if I understood what was intended but it stuck in my mind when I read this.

  3. Avatar BiC

    I like it though I’m a bit mixed and at times it felt a bit obtuse. – Nevertheless, you have written a sequel to one of the best entries in the challenge, and by doing so have improved its potential to win it all. (Okay, honestly, I’m just jealous cause remembrancer comments on your stuff and not mine. – But I’ll get over it :)

Inspired by

Speed through Every memory that dares To hold hostage A single second of your day Race by Every mistake That drags you deeper Into a past m...

Race Against Time by remembrancer

This story's tags are