Cost of Flight

Ahfl_icon Author: THX 0477 Dr. Tim's Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life [Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member's Only jackets] ... Read Bio

Call me
Old fashioned

Life is a soup
Time flowing

Caught in the current
Awash in chronology
We thrash

Call me
Just call me
Don’t go
Bob a while

Some dash
We dart
Get away

Flee like mice
In the dark
I’m gone
You’re gone

Tumble headlong
Charge ahead
Leave sorrow
Leave pain
Leave the past

Call out against
No, there is nothing
Save your

Leave me be
Flee from me and
Leave and


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Oh no! This story doesn't have a sequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    tags AND a sequel. Sounds like you find a slow current and have time to reflect in that isolation at the end. The rest of the time soup is fast. I have a feeling you went over a waterfall and found a calmer pool. Bet you can see your reflection. heh, see what I did there?

  2. Avatar remembrancer

    I am also impressed by the combination of tags, sequel, and starting and ending with said tags. But I really enjoyed how the pacing changed throughout the piece while it still managed to flow nicely. The soup analogy was very interesting as well. I wasn’t sure if I understood what was intended but it stuck in my mind when I read this.

  3. Avatar BiC

    I like it though I’m a bit mixed and at times it felt a bit obtuse. – Nevertheless, you have written a sequel to one of the best entries in the challenge, and by doing so have improved its potential to win it all. (Okay, honestly, I’m just jealous cause remembrancer comments on your stuff and not mine. – But I’ll get over it :)

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