Personal Space Pilot

Ahfl_icon Author: THX 0477 Dr. Tim's Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life [Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member's Only jackets] ... Read Bio

Space occupies my mind. I consider the distance between you and I. Leagues and years create an impassable chasm. Unable to find answers, my head is as good as empty.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she rasps, hot whiskey-tinged breath on my ear. She stands too close. She always does. I suppose with a body like that you don’t have to worry about intruding; most guys don’t mind.

Suppressing a chill that wants to course up my spine I eye the door, “Just figurin’, you know, a way to go.”

She’s at the other ear now, or is she a million miles away, “Why you want to go, when you don’t know where you want to be?” She breaths. Her hand is hovering somewhere near my arm. “I know where you want to be.”

Nowhere. That’s where I want to be. It’s a hard destination to find with a lot of someplaces in the way.

“No,” I sigh, “you don’t.”

“I think I do,” she practically sings, “and I can take you there. I’ll be your…guide.”

“Darlin’,” I turn to face her, “The last thing I need is for you to be my pilot.”

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Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar awayken

    I enjoyed the story, but it reads as a little rushed. There was some confusing imagery (first she’s close to his ear, then she’s a million miles away), and there were some typos. I like the direction of the story, and I think you should give it another pass. I’d like to learn more about these three characters.

  2. Avatar BiC

    First off, I love the title! You know, once I started reading this I thought it might be a sequel to nomad’s Frivolous Kisses. Sadly, it wasn’t. Lastly, I don’t understand the line: ‘The last thing I need is for you for a pilot.’ Huh? :)

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Arrrg, stupid typos. I’m not sure if it’s much better now, but thanks for the feedback.

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    Of course she is physically here, but in a delusional state of mind making her a million miles away, or at least he feels a million miles from her, thus the chasm between them. No love there any more. Maybe there wasn’t any love ever. Maybe the allure of her body has not got the hold on him it once had. You’ve captured the character well, but no time to explain the relationship.

  5. Avatar Stockholm

    I’m glad I read this after I published mine or I might not have written one at all. Good read. Love the punch line — it doesn’t feel forced at all even though you probably had that line in your head before the story was over. That’s a sign of good writing right there.