You come in two’s and three’s, smiling when you enter and saying “Oh my God, a store of nothing but socks…” There is either an exclamation point on the end of your statement, or more often a question mark. “Yes” I say, “Like comfort food without the calories.”
You laugh.
You look.
You buy.
I smile and tell you how happy I am you came in, and I’m serious. I’m smiling, but I’m serious; I am a Sock Ninja.
When you’re not here the internet is my friend, or a book, or the task the Sock Fairy left for me (more on her some other time). These are good friends, except perhaps the interweb. It has convincing arguments from both sides of any topic. Maybe that’s what makes it a good friend… perhaps I’ll GOOGLE “friendship with the internet” and read compelling reasons to shun or embrace it.

Perhaps not.

Someday I will put a stop-motion camera in the upper most corner of the sock store and watch you shop for a year, like flies on crack in a jar.

I’m a Sock Ninja. You didn’t know there was such a thing.