Lucky Me

Avatar Author: Abstract Kicking it at the University of Oklahoma. I like writing, science, almost all forms of music (literally), creating constructed languages, graphic/visual arts, and a good book. I will not hesitate in saying I am a Christia... Read Bio

“Brings back memories of my trauma-unit days,” I said, staring at the red debacle all over the walls and floor. Vic was lucky that the last tenants at his bed-and-breakfast hadn’t decided to sue, instead opting to get their stay comped. What was left of their cat was all over the hallway leading to the rooms on the first floor.

I drove Vic over to the mom-and-pop shop I can never remember the name of. There he purchased twelve gallons of turpentine and a mop. At least, he tried to. He’d left his wallet at the B&B, so I tossed my debit card on the counter and went to start the car. He was taking a while to leave, so I texted him asking him what the deal was. “They’ve got your Visa, plus they seem to be total morons,” he replied.

I got to do the dirty work after we got back, of course, as some new customers arrived. As I toiled, sweating profusely in the humidity, they made small talk. “Don’t you worry,” I distinctly heard Vic boast. “We are the most hospitable folks in Florida!”

I wanted to ragequit so bad…

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Abstract

    To my knowledge, I’ve never read (or read about) Lucky You. I wonder how closely this comes to it.

  2. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    I think “ragequit” brings down the tone a shedload, but the rest of it is very well told. The narrator is kind of an enigma, but Vic’s character is very evident in just a few lines.

  3. Avatar Abstract

    Thanks! Any suggestions for improving the last line?

  4. Avatar August 2nd

    In the 1st paragraph, you used the phrase, “hadn’t decided to sue.” I do not doubt that you meant “had decided not to sue.” The two are not equivalent.

    The clientele of a B&B would be ‘guests,’ not ‘tenants’ or ‘customers.’

    I agree with PJ about ‘ragequit.’ It seems to me that ‘quit’ would be sufficient.

    There are definite echoes of Hiaasen here but not of Lucky You specifically. That’s okay; it’s the way that these types of challenges work. Good work.

  5. Avatar Sanglorian

    I love that this guy’s stumbled into an awful job. My suggestion for the last line would be to cut it altogether – end with the funny line about hospitality.

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