Noir: Reservations

Avatar Author: August 2nd eReaders: Monthly digests up to *December 2012* are available at https://www.box.com/shared/yg7eom74zq. Read Bio

A hand grabbed my left shoulder strongly enough to prevent me from entering the club. The hand’s owner, a muscular and well turned out young man, stepped between me and the door.

“Do you have a reservation?”

It was a demand more than a question and the tone of voice carried an implied threat. The raw knuckles I had seen on his hand reinforced that. I made a mental note that he was right handed.

“Several,” I muttered. More loudly, “Yes. I’ll be dining with Maryanne Stone.”

He consulted his reservation list.

“You’re Mr. Beretta?”

“Yep.”

“Enjoy your dinner, sir.”

It was a spectacular room; no expense seemed to have been spared. The maĆ®tre d’ greeted me.

“Party?”

“Maryanne Stone.”

A complex expression crossed his face that I couldn’t quite read.

“She hasn’t arrived yet. May I show you to your table?”

“No, I’ll wait for her at the bar.”

“Very good, sir.”

Tugger was at the end of the bar, sipping from a goddamn cup. As I passed him, I slipped him a 20.

“Geez, kid, look the part,” I hissed.

View this story's details

Prequels

Sequels

Comments (9 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar HSAR

    Things are starting to come together! Great stuff.

  2. Avatar August 2nd

    I think everyone that has a dedicated author is now at the Topaz. What we don’t have is sometwo to represent Maryanne Stone and Mr. DiSibio. This would be a good time for someone else to jump in… I’m jes’ sayin’…

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Oh, the ending gave me a good giggle. Nice, subtle point about the mental note of the bouncer’s handedness. Solid and nicely sets up events here at The Topaz.

    Side Note: I think it may actually be fitting that as of yet Maryanne doesn’t have her own author. She is only as she is seen through the eyes of others…or perhaps Kay-teaze could be pursuaded to take the role.

  4. Avatar Drake West

    This is getting GOOD! August you are steering now, considering you host the protagonist. How can he come out on top? What is the top for him? I guess we will find out. Now we are in reaction mode to you, this will play out like a choose your own adventure. The other authors will have to react to Baretta.

    I would say that Stone should NOT have an author, that is what makes this story so great. She can be reactive/proactive based on the seams between our characters. She has to tread the thin line between what we have our characters do and the sliver of mystery that will develop.
    It is a “who has eyes on…” finale!! Psyched!!

  5. Avatar JonB

    The handedness detail is a nice touch, showing that our Beretta ain’t been a PI all these years for nothing. In all, a very effective set-up as THX says.

    I second (third?) the suggestion that we leave Maryanne Stone (and perhaps DeSibio as well?) without a dedicated author; seems better to depict her through the reactions of others rather than giving her an internal voice, as with the other characters. Could become a bit too unwieldy otherwise. Of course, if either does wind up needing an author then I know a few folks round here who can put together a decent story…

  6. Avatar HSAR

    In the spirit of playing the Devil’s advocate, running a character so key to the plot without a dedicated author to handle her motives and plans is treading some very unstable ground.

  7. Avatar August 2nd

    @Drake: Thank you so much for not applying any pressure! ;-) I disagree about my being the main driver at this point. I see each of us as the protagonist in our own stories, just like in life. While Tugger may be in the position to follow Beretta’s lead, Lambone and Otellio are not.

    @Jon: “a bit too unwieldy otherwise”… just like life!

  8. Avatar Drake West

    not trying to pressure you, but we all have to sort of hurry up and wait so that the story can have an exciting climax and revealing denouement…
    I am keeping to the thread anchoring back to some previous post.

  9. Avatar Pablo Vilas

    Good

Inspired by

I stood at the window, looking at the cold, wet city outside and wondering why I had ever stayed in this godforsaken place. Surely a good PI ...

Noir: En Route by August 2nd

This story's tags are