Chilling Words (4)

Avatar Author: Ranger Creative Writing student at the University of Winchester Read Bio

There’s only so much make-work a guy can do while waiting for a van to return.
With it done, all that’s left is for you to sit there with your fellow drivers and watch the minute hand crawl across the face of the clock. It beat watching paint dry. Just.
Mike nudged me, “‘Ere, I’ve finally worked out the last line!”
It took me a moment for my brain to stop counting time and catch on to what he was saying. “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re gonna love it son. You ready for this?” He seemed really pleased with himself.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Ok, here goes. On the 12th day of Christmas I told my boss there were: 12 Cancelled Orders, 11 Sick Pickers, 10 Cocked up Items, 9 Late Deliveries, 8 Grumpy Customers, 7 Stacks of Put-backs, 6 Broken Eggs, 5 Bug-gered Vans! 4 Accidents, 3 Brought Back, 2 Lame Excuses and a weirdo with the hots for Steve!!!”
Mike stood there with his hands spread extravagantly as he bellowed the last line across the warehouse.
“Thanks mate, you’re all love…”
“I know,” He grinned, “Don’t it make you sick?”

View this story's details


Comments (2 so far!)

  1. Avatar Ranger

    Erm… The parody of the song came up and the last line seemed to suit the story. It amused me so I wrote it and hopefully it won’t ruin the tone of the story.

    Also, during the course of writing the song, I decided the Main Character should be called Steve… Better late than never I suppose :P

  2. Avatar JonB

    I think this works fine and the very blokes-in-a-warehouse tone fits with the rest of the story. A bit of light relief, I suppose: I assume the next installment will be darker…

Inspired by

Another shift. I tended to view the van with a certain sense of trepidation lately. It seemed larger and more daunting each time I approached...

Chilling Words (3) by Ranger

This story's tags are