Ficly

Bickering Battleaxes

Yeah, I ate a whole pizza,
TO MY FACE,
I knew you were counting slices!
You’re priceless.
Oh, no, go ahead, you said,
I’m on a highfalutin gluten free diet, why, I couldn’t possibly eat bread. Join me on my pedestal of piety. Become a member of my trendy society, meat head!

Now look at you—
Picking cheese from an empty box!
Fishing for my sympathies.
Please! I’ma sleep like a pile of rocks!

I’m too full, and happy, for you to emotionally trap me.
Not a sniffle, sadly.

(#%!&*@!)

Well, I feel beautiful!
HEY, we’ve got that humongous vat of humus—
EAT THAT!

(you’re a losah)

Well yousa supastah
ain’t no quickah thigh thickenah
than a Snickah’s ice cream bah…
Here’s one, mmm, want some?

(%*&#!)

Now, now, don’t get snippy.

(!#@%*&!)

I don’t care. NUT UP! Spoon yourself some Skippy.
HEY, don’t hit me! Ok, ok.

Where are my car keys?

Jeez,

how many Ben and Jerry’s?

This story has no comments.