Angry, Angry Arguers

Ahfl_icon Author: THX 0477 Dr. Tim's Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life [Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member's Only jackets] ... Read Bio

“My l-love is a lie. All in all, my life is l-l-lacking in what you might like to call l-lust, or perhaps l-la liberté de la sexe. L-l-laugh if you lean towards the l-lighter side. My leaving is entirely m-my loss, which I shall l-lament the re-re-remainder of my long, lonely…”

“Stop. Stuff your lamentations, you stupid louse. What kind of stunt are you starting at, with your stuttering stopgap stratification of romantic strength? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stack up the stats, as you say, state the sad facts of your interpersonal history. I stand by our passion. I stand by our relationship.”

Helen held her ground, head held high and casting a haughty glare. He had no hope for her to hear his heralding of hedonistic haplessness. How could he handle the haranguing at home another hour?

Fitfully and fearfully, Finn faltered, “F-forget fidelity! F-f-find some f-fellow to flog and f-flagellate. As for me, I flee. I forgo any good f-faith. And finally, my fine fiancée, f-f-f-…f-f-f. You know.”

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar August 2nd

    ROTFL!!

  2. Avatar Jae

    I’ve heard many folks who stutter can curse without hesitation.

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I was going on the basis of this being a peevish sort of guy for whom swearing is anxiety provoking, and since anxiety tends to make a stutter worse he can’t quite get out the offensive word.

    But Jae makes a fair point.

  4. Avatar Jae

    Not to take away from your premise, of course. Your character’s speech patterns are justifiably convincing.

  5. Avatar stargazer1960

    I really like your take on the challenge.

  6. Avatar JonB

    Hilarious, and impassioned, and maximally alliterated (due to clever use of the stuttering device) – right down to the title. Considerably hard not to like.