There’s some kind of weight on my forehead.

Wait, no, there’s nothing on my forehead. It’s just – ow.

No, sitting up was a bad idea. Opening my eyes – no, that’s a bad idea too. Ow, ow, ouch.

Got a problem. My table appears to have been taken apart and carved into intricate Russian dolls. Nice craftsmanship – shame about the furniture.

Feel for the alarm – there! No, wait, that’s half an Easter egg. Good chocolate though. Nice.

Is that a photo from last night? Good lord. Three bottles? Three dozen?

Wow.

Thump. Ooof. I think that’s the floor.

Still painful. If I don’t move, does it still hur – yes, yes it does. Might as well keep moving then.

Up, up, up – upright! Yes! Mostly.

I need a drink. Of water, preferably. Probably not a good idea to have any more alcohol for now.

Ah. Door locked. I thought the key went in the outside?

Right. Reversed the door. Well, it’s good work at least. Repainted frame too.

Seems I’m not getting out any time soon.