Dennis, His Missus, Or Something Else

Ahfl_icon Author: THX 0477 Dr. Tim's Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life [Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member's Only jackets] ... Read Bio

“Dennis. Dennis? Dennis!”

“You’re very shrill when you get tired, you know.” This, mostly likely, did not represent the best response in the given moment. He’d uttered worse things, usually more quietly.

Mrs. Uldridge pulled up to her full height, bony fingers encircling the upper curve of generous hips, “Dennis Uldridge, you disrespectful slug of a man! If you weren’t mostly done with the sink I’d kick you in the…”

“Doesn’t shrill connote loveliness or being like music?” he tried from under the plumbing.

She held her tongue. She rolled her shoulders. She popped her neck twice.

“Listen well, twerp. Think before you reply,” she cooed slowly, “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Dennis thought. He thought some more. He pictured himself single, free—joyful even. Not possible, he well knew. Life held him by the bollocks, firmly without mercy.

He sighed. He let the hope ebb once more.

“No, my love. I’m very sorry. Why don’t you go shopping or out for drinks? I’ll finish up rightly, I promise.”

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Pablo Vilas

    Yayy! What a good story. I think we’d have to deprive you of two letters or maybe more to put a crimp in your creativity.

  2. Avatar Adukes

    Ha ha ha. That sounds about right.

  3. Avatar nomadic nik

    Great story. I enjoy the descriptions and the strong sense of their daily life in such a short piece of writing.

    It’s mostly devoid of “a” but for one tiny article, “slug of a man”.

  4. Avatar Pablo Vilas

    Aah, I didn’t see that. Have to ding you for that, big guy … sorry!