Another of my movies came out today before I had a chance to make it. I had even started writing this one. There it was on my TV, a trailer for a film that should by all rights only exist in my head. It’s not just movies, websites too. Twitter was my idea, so was iTunes. I can’t take credit for Youtube.

My best idea is still my own. It has to remain that way. If it was ever stolen then everybody would know. They would know who was behind it all. I know who is behind all the idea thefts. I know who made my movies before I could write them, who published my websites before I learned how to write code, and I know why they will never sell my greatest idea.

My greatest invention is Time Travel. I haven’t worked it out yet. But I will, don’t you see? It’s me that’s stealing my work. Stealing it before I even think of it.

Well Future Me, this time you have gone too far. I will show you. You forgot that I am a brilliant strategist in addition to being a great writer and inventor. Today I start smoking.