This Calamitous Vaudeville

Avatar Author: Stovohobo _Great stories happen to those who can tell them._ -Ira Glass, although he attributed it to Anonymous. If you comment my stuff, please be as nit-picky as necessary. I crave constructive criticism. Also alliteration.... Read Bio

Whip crack,
forced another
heart attack!

Mish, mash,
slash, cut—
This little pig
with a knife in the gut—

You think I have reason?
You think I am mad?
I revel in treason—
There’s blood to be had!

Just quiet your crying
It’s getting quite shrill—
Just be glad you’re a part of
This calamitous vaudeville!

No, I don’t want your money;
Your pleading is tripe!
Wasted on unheeding ears.

What, you don’t think it’s funny?
Then you’re just not my type—
Time to move on to the biers…

Oh, yes, run away!
It’s the thrill of the chase!
Your screams are dying to be tast-ed!

There’s no delay,
so quicken your pace;
I swear—not a bullet wasted!

Isn’t it delightful?
Isn’t it a thrill?
Just be glad that you’re a part of
This calamitous vaudeville!

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Comments (4 so far!)

  1. Avatar Blossom Ruoquen (LoA)

    I love this. After the first stanza (is that the correct term for it..?) your tempo seems to go a little off though. Perhaps if you shift ‘with’ from the 4th line of stanza two to the 3rd.. so
    A little pig with
    A knife in his gut.
    But it’s all tiny like that. The love the whole vaudeville scene- and it was darkly twisted! Just the way I like it .

  2. Avatar Stovohobo

    I knew the tempo was off—I did it mostly on purpose to get across his way of saying it. If anyone else really thinks it doesn’t work, then I’ll probably change it.

    Thanks for the comment.

  3. Avatar g²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Most twisted indeed! I may comb through it again for the nitty-gritty, but on the whole it’s exactly what I’m looking for in this challenge.

    Thanks for entering!
    (and aren’t you glad you didn’t “cheat”? ^^)

  4. Avatar RockPaperScissors

    ’Twas KILLER! Keep writing.