Declan Talks Death

Avatar Author: Stovohobo _Great stories happen to those who can tell them._ -Ira Glass, although he attributed it to Anonymous. If you comment my stuff, please be as nit-picky as necessary. I crave constructive criticism. Also alliteration.... Read Bio

Declan warily pulled himself up to the chair opposite the woman. It sank on one leg when he sat down.

“Hi, Declan,” the woman said. “I’m Death.”


She smiled supportively, as if used to getting this reaction. “Declan, you were in a car crash, right? And you just sank into a coma.”


“So—and I’ll just be straightforward—do you want to die now?”

Declan frowned. “I get a choice?”

“Well, yes. You do. Right now I’m talking to a guy in Grotto 356 and he’s going straight to Hell. But you’ve been pretty neutral overall, so you get a choice if you want to see me now or later. Rare case, but it happens.” She popped a cigarette into her mouth and puffed.

Declan stuttered. “Er, I—if I die now, will I go to purgatory?”

“Something like that. Or you could go back to the living and tell the doctors about your Near Death Experience. Talk about the tunnel, or the light, or me if you want.”

“I’ll…I’ll take the second one.”

Death made a note in its catalog. “Have a nice trip.”

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    So I guess the two debators from the first part of this tale need to find Declan and talk to him.

    And what was that comment about mine being dark and humorless? hm? ;) Seems you have painted the same picture; less humor, more dark.

  2. Avatar ALRO613 (LoA)

    ya never know – it could happen. It wasn’t so much dark… it ended nicely – he got to live.

  3. Avatar Oy

    I think I would be neutral…

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Funny, and I like the matter-of-fact tone from death. Fun continuation.

  5. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    You’d think Death could get some decent chairs, though.

  6. Avatar Treebeard's Ghost


Inspired by

Galway, Ireland Five minutes later Declan MacLyntire’s last sensation was the stuffiness of the hospital room as doctors crowded around...

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