“Attention Parents! The body you see before you is not an indicator that I am dead. Rather, it marks the day of the greatest day of my life, the day of my upload into cyberspace. No longer will I have to put up with taunting classmates, no longer will I have to take showers! I will know all, and be everywhere! Maybe I’ll see you around, but you won’t see me --Craig.”

On the monitor, an error message blinked.