The Heavy Breath of the Dark

Avatar Author: Stovohobo _Great stories happen to those who can tell them._ -Ira Glass, although he attributed it to Anonymous. If you comment my stuff, please be as nit-picky as necessary. I crave constructive criticism. Also alliteration.... Read Bio

I awake into the deepest, darkest black imaginable. I can see nothing but the heavy breath of the dark. It clings to my body like a tangible force, but it’s all psychological—it’s just my eyes not registering the fact that there is no light in this room—or wherever I am.

With my sight gone, my ears start to attune to the environment. But even my hearing is all but smothered. All I can process is the rattling sound of what I can only assume is my breath, the sound it’s making as it passes through my nervous throat. Is there someone else here? I can’t say for sure, because the lack of other noise makes my breathing seem so loud it cancels other things out.

But I can tell I am in a room—the sound reverberates back several times, and I can feel cold metal against my palms. I am in a large, metallic room. Yes. And just when I start to get comfortable with the fact that I know my general surroundings, that knowledge is upset.

Because that’s when the tapping begins.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    hmm, darkness, cold metal, raspy breath, is the person wearing clothes? Sounds like waking up in the morgue!

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Well that sounds scary. Hope he’s neither claustrophobic nor afraid of the dark, the name for which eludes me at the moment.

  3. Avatar Stovohobo

    THX- Looked it up just for the heck of it. It probably eluded because there’s like 5 of them: Nyctophobia, Lygophobia, Achluophobia, Myctophobia, or Scotophobia.

    Yep, I’m a nerd. That or a time-waster. Probably a combination of the two.

  4. Avatar N555champ & X-Ninja

    Hmm sounds a lot like my room… Very good beginning. Kinda sounds like the beginning of a movie when the screen is still black, and all you can hear is, well the breathing of the character.

  5. Avatar NinjaChicken

    You r quite the talented writer here! Well done!

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