Creative Rebel (sonnet)

Avatar Author: g²LaPianistaIrlandesa Read Bio

We’re not allowed to think outside the box,
Thinking at all is frowned upon out here.
Forget creating anything, no dear.
They only want us sitting there like rocks.

They keep all books under the keys and locks,
And try t’enstill pervasive sense of fear.
They cannot hold me down, my voice they’ll hear,
I’ll fight back verb’ly, muse’cly, ’til gun cocks.

Enclothed in Converse, jeans, a pen in hand,
signs of rebellion, ones that cause a stir
and ’tract attention, but it makes them heed.

451 has nothing on this land.
They’ll kill me off, but it won’t work, no sir.
’Cause on that fateful day, I will be freed.

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Comments (6 so far!)

  1. Avatar DoItForScience

    Was I supposed to laugh?

  2. Avatar g²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    @DIFS: It depends on the reason… was it freaked-out “oh dear God this better not happen” laughter, cynical “we’re on this track as we speak” laughter, sarcastic “I can’t believe somebody actually wrote this awfulness” laughter, or something else entirely?

  3. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    i liked it square

  4. Avatar DoItForScience

    It was “Converse = rebellion ?!?” laughter, sorry. The semi-Shakespearean way you contract your words was useful in most places, but it seems really unnecessary in “but i’makes them heed” … doesn’t do anything for the meter there whereas the other places you used it, the contraction definitely helped the meter. Also, you have 11 syllables in verse 2 line 2, and by my count also 11 syllables in verse 3 line 2, but that depends on how you pronounce rebellion. Not that I know if you actually cared about the meter in this poem. The spirit of the work is certainly good.

    Lastly, I’m no authority on poetry, not really my thing, so I can be safely ignored.

  5. Avatar g²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Hm. You’re right about that “i’makes” contraction; I think I wanted to make it work with some other word and forgot to edit it out (I’m more or less [in]famous for my contractions). The way I’m pronouncing “rebellion” is re-BELL-yon. I wasn’t aware there was more than one way to pronounce “rebellion”; interesting to consider, though.
    While I was trying to observe iambic meter, perhaps I subconsciously figured that the two lines of 11 were purposely 1 syllable too long to 1) see if people were paying attention, and 2) slightly rebel against the conventions of pentameter.
    I threw in converse as rebellious because, in my mind, they were one of the least ordinary & conforming footwear I could think of. Think about it: they come in who-knows how many styles, umpteen colors, & some folks may be inclined to further decorate them. Basically, everything about Converse could be a challenge to a creativity-suppressing dystopian society. That sound crazy? Probably is, considering it’s my reasoning…

  6. Avatar g²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    I did heed your suggestions re: the unnecessary contraction & the one line that was a touch too long.