Whatever he had held in, snapped

Avatar Author: Turtles :) I would love for you to comment my stories please… if you don’t like it… tell me what I can do to make it more appealing! I have a very overactive imagination… and I think you will be able to tell which of my stories are ... Read Bio

He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I felt like I was on top of the world. My heart skipped a beat when he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
Will swatted at Darrell with the camera again, “Find someone else to annoy!”
Will turned his attention back to me, I couldn’t help but giggle, if Will would stop freaking out every time, Darrell would stop doing it. But it was still funny so I just left it alone.
Just then I heard a gunshot and a scream. Will pushed me to the ground, I turned to the door to see Shane holding a gun in the air. He was staring directly at me. I stood up, but Will stood in front of me.
Shane and I dated about a year ago. For about two months, until I realised what a creeper he was. I broke up with him, but he was always following me around school. Sending me notes saying he still loved me, calling me and leaving voicemails crying that he wanted me back. Then when me and Will started dating, he stopped.
Whatever he had held in, snapped.

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Well, that was unexpected. Very dramatic turn there. The middle part where all the action happened wound up a bit muddled and run together. Short, choppy sentences can be as effective (or more really) at conveying a hectic, dramatic situation than run-ons.

  2. Avatar OneMoreDay(LoA)

    Oh no! She was right: a night to remember! The middle was a little confusing, but I can’t wait to see where it goes and what she does about Shane!

  3. Avatar Sastina Adeliz

    Very climactic event, some good imagery.

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