Ever take a nap and then wake up more tired than you were before? That’s what I’m feeling right now. I went to sleep thinking about Jo. How funny she is, her laugh, her smile. She always makes me happy, except for when I place my hand on her belly and feel the kick of that little one swimming inside of her. No, her being pregnant doesn’t make me bitter. What makes me bitter is feeling so happy to be close to the baby, only to remember five seconds later that the baby isn’t mine. It’s her husband’s baby. My insides are tying themselves into knots at the thought of it all, and I lay my hands on my stomach.
What the fuck?!
I get up as fast as I can, which isn’t very quickly at all, considering my situation. I stand in front of the mirror, my head reeling. I’m not faced with my own handsome self, but with her. Her body is inviting, beautiful. Chestnut locks falling over deep blue eyes and pink skin. I want her, I want her and the child to be mine. It takes me a bit to realize that I’ll get just that. And more.