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Avatar Author: Tyrannical TeaCup [Indefinitely under construction.] Read Bio

Lap after lap after lap, her arms and legs continued in a rhythmic manner as her heartbeat carried a tune that she followed. Without realizing it, her body ceased movement and she blankly faced the sun, her mind lost in thought.

“You’re going to burn your pretty face.”

“My skin’s not sensitive. Not like yours.”

“Ouch. I’d willingly turn to ash for you, but not if you’re going to take your failures out on me.”

She spoke subconsciously up until that point, until she faced him directly with a pair of narrowed, bitter eyes.

“I won’t cry for you.”

“You won’t cry for anyone. Not even for yourself. And that’s why you watched me drown that night, with your fingers curled.”

Her eyes slowly turned back towards the sun as her heartbeat slowed to a complete stop. Even below the surface, rays of warmth reached her.

“I’m in a sea of tears just for you. Only you.”

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Comments (2 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Hmm, has the appearance of depth and suggests a lot, but I think it wound with just not quite enough on which to hold on to. Did that make sense? You hint at a lot, and there are a lot of possibilities, which is all great, but for me the ratio of questions to answers was just a bit too high to make for an enjoyable read.

    Nicely executed all the same, and the above is pure opinion/subjective/‘to be taken with grains of salt’.

  2. Avatar Tyrannical TeaCup

    Oooh, I’m actually quite interested. 9/10 of what I write usually ends up vague and such. I really thought this was a lot more clear cut.

    Of course, as the author, it’s a lot easier for me to say that everything makes sense and the possibilities are narrowed down to one solution.

    So if you will! Care to add more suggestions? Maybe at your own take on this? All would be appreciated. :]