The New Line

Avatar Author: Kevin Lawver This time, it's mostly Jason's fault. He's the one who convinced me that we couldn't just leave well enough alone. He got the designers to donate their time, and wrote all the HTML, CSS and 95% of the javascript. I did... Read Bio

“What do you think of the training film, boss?”

“Where are the chicks, Simpson? Honestly, where did you find that kid to model it, the library? Where’s the sex?”

“It’s a discipline device parents put on their kids to keep them in line, sir. I’m pretty sure they don’t want their kids thinking about sex. In fact, R&D says they’ll have the Chastitron ready any day now for the full-body control experience.”

“Good point… Wholesome… Yeah, that’s good. I’m sold. Can we get it in different colors at least? My kid’s gonna want to bedazzle hers. Could we get a Hello Kitty version?”

“Right now it’s only available in stainless steel, but I’ll ask marketing what they think. I’m not sure the ACD would really work if it, you know, looks like a cartoon cat.”

“ACD? I thought we decided we were going to call it The Guiding Hand. Aberrance Control Device has no sizzle at all.”

“Oh yes, sir, sorry, sir. I keep forgetting. I wanted to call it Nurse Ratchet, but Marketing said no one would get it…”

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Heh. I wonder why no one would go for that last name…
    bites tongue, retreats slowly into a corner

  2. Avatar Melia

    chuckles Nurse Ratchet.. I would have gotten it :) I like the back and forth between the developer and the boss. The boss is all about the $$$s and the developer wants to call it some technical name, hehe. Made me laugh Kevin :)

  3. Avatar Nancy

    Chastitron?! Awesome.

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Hilarious continuation. I think it does a nice job of lampooning the crass commercialism behind most of the crap peddled under the guise of ‘moral improvement’. Nice skewering there, big guy.

  5. Avatar sesquipedalian

    haha it makes the one before it SLIGHTLY less creepy.
    Good work

  6. Avatar Yuriy Zubovski

    I wrote a somewhat incongruous alternative corporate image in a sequel to the Crunch branch, though maybe the Corporation simply reacts differently to different stimuli. I love the name game in this one!

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