The football stadium smelled awful. Imagine the worst thing you have ever smelled in your life, then cover it in poo; that is how awful it smelled. After two months of being a zombie, you would think that I would have gotten used to it. Hell, I was surprised my senses were still fully functional.

I had my eye on a blond cheerleader who was still pretty, even in her undead state. She had a few visible ribs poking out from her tattered uniform, but zombies can’t be too picky.

What was I going to say to her? “Wanna go do something after the Zombie Apocalypse?”

As I approached her I noticed some flesh had rotted off of my hand. I self-consciously hid the hand behind me. She looked over at me and I noticed that she was missing an eye. Still, she was a better catch than most of the freaks shambling around.

Mustering up a final bit of courage, I opened my mouth to speak to her…and my jaw fell completely off. The cheerleader just stared with her good eye. I gracefully picked up my jaw and fled.