Indivisible

Avatar Author: PT Read Bio

In her day-to-day life, Janie looked like the kind of girl that would be good at sex, or at least that she could easily arrange for as many practice sessions as she wanted. Being pretty had opened some doors for her, and helped her out of some rough situations in the past. Now, as she lay motionless with the dead-weight of his body pushing her face into the carpet Janie thought that maybe, for the first time ever, she was in over her head. She knew she had to get out before he woke up.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    hey this is aq good short. It meets all the requirements.
    leaves alot to the reader.
    meets the stand alone test.
    the only problem is you need a pic.
    really a pic is important. i am taking away two pencils for no pic.

  2. Avatar PT

    For my profile or of Janie? Janie’s would probably be more interesting.

  3. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    nice pic PT

  4. Avatar Krulltar

    thank you for the pic, MYJ is sorta nutty when it comes to the pic thing…always talking about how it shows commitment by the writer.

    now about your story… great open ended story. Leaves alot for the reader to explore. btw, the 2nd to last sentence is a bit of a run-on, and needs another comma somewhere between “carpet” and “Janie”

  5. Avatar Lady Bug

    oh you totally need to add more to this! I’m seriously on the edge of my seat. What happened to her? I need to know! haha.
    great start!

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