Boom! too!

Avatar Author: SJHundak/SJWilling I'm a Science Fiction, Fantasy and Romance writer. Creator of the PIACT Undercover Agent series and designer of that nifty logo you see up top. Love to talk writing shop so if you ever want to chat just bell, blip, nudge,... Read Bio

Well, it would have been a more effective BOOM!, if the gun had actually done something rather than just click.

I looked at the gun, feeling mildly bewildered, when Laverne started laughing and dropping a handful of bullets to the dust.

“Saw that one coming didn’t I, Jody?” he said. Pulling out his own gun from somewhere behind him. “Now, what where you saying about the shortage of food?”

“Uh, only that with the two of us now alone we need to band together to protect our families and supplies and, um, it will be much more efficient if the two of us scavenged together rather than on our own.”

“Nice try, doesn’t win the banana. Okay,” he pointed his gun at me. “Now it’s my turn to inherit your perfect life, loving family, great friends, all that now completely useless money and a lifestyle I’ve only ever dreamed about and can never have anymore.”

“Hey, Laverne, can we talk about this a little bit?”

“Is it a four letter word with B, M! and OO in the middle?”

“Uhm, no.”

“Then, sorry,” he grinned.

BOOM!

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    I like this gritty damn the torpedoes style you write with.

  2. Avatar SJHundak/SJWilling

    LOL thanks! I guess it only took me thirty years to develop. :)

    S.J.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    ha! he took the bullets out.. this just goes to prove that there are no unsequelable stories.
    So why would he want that life now? I mean, it’s over. Life as they knew it, gone. So why would he turn on him?

  4. Avatar SJHundak/SJWilling

    Now it’s a case of survival. Fighting for food shortages, prestige, Jody’s wife…. :)

    S.J.

  5. Avatar Krulltar

    Now this one worked… it’s similar in style to your pre-prequel story, but the joke came across as not sounding cheesy and it fit well with the story. You made my muses giggle.

    BTW I agree with MJY that about your no nonsense approach to writing.

  6. Avatar Krulltar

    I read your comment on one of my stories, and wanted to clearify. It’s not that stories can’t have punchlines, it just your first story in this series had a punchline that overtook the storyline, rather than accentuating it. And it seemed like you were trying to write a story and not just a joke.

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