Stories tagged “caveman”
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Plight of the Caveman
It had not been a great day for Ugh so far. It started when a bear lurched into his cave, and decided it was a rather nice cave all things considered, and that actually Ugh was the only thing in the cave he didn’t like, and so had attacked him. U...
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Dear Goat-Footed Lord of Shadows, from Caveman Phil
Dear Goat-Footed Lord of Shadows, I hope you liked that cave-bear we burned on the sky-stone for you. It cost me several fingers. Not that I mind, of course. I wasn’t complaining! Please don’t give me the fever. I hope things go well at the...
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B.C. Stands for Bone Chicks
The worst thing about being a television repairman stuck in1,000 B.C. isn’t a “hard” time finding work- it’s how chafed my wiener gets from doing it on saber-toothed tiger rugs. Today is no different. “Where’s the Televi...
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B.C. Stands for Bone Chicks
The worst thing about being a television repairman stuck in1,000 B.C. isn’t a “hard” time finding work- it’s how chafed my wiener gets from doing it on saber-toothed tiger rugs. Today is no different. “Where’s the Television?” I ask, my m...
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Og's discovery
There was once a caveman, and like many caveman he was named Og, because caveman didn’t have properly developed vocal cords and couldn’t pronounce the complex names we have today such as Joe or Bob. One day, Og was quickly rotating a stick ...
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Obsidian
With a single blow from the hammer stone he chipped off a good sized blank. Half as long as his palm, two fingers wide and less than a finger in depth. He chipped at the edges with small blows. Shaping the stone. Each blow separating a small flake. The...
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Dear Caveman Bob, from God
Dear Caveman Bob, I eat stars when I’m hungry. It’s called entropy. Also? It does a great job of showing off my divine powers. Tell all your friends, God
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Dear Martians, from God
Dear Martians, I’m waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of you on that whole dramatic meteor shower thing. Those dinosaurs won’t be bothering you for much longer. Love, God
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Dear God, from Caveman Bob 5
Dear God, The party was sooooooooooooooo awesome. You make the greatest stuff. Rotten honey is just… is just… awesome. Why’d’ya hold out on us? Amen, Caveman Bob
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Dear God, from Caveboy Billy 3
Dear God, This fire stuff hurts. I hate you! Amen, Caveboy Billy PS. Please don’t kill me!
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Dear God, from Mama Velociraptor 3
Dear God, Is this your punishment for eating the wrong human? My new brood hatched today, and they are LOUD. Really, Caveman Bob can take one or two of them if he’s really hungry. Amen, Mama Velociraptor