Stories tagged “clerical”
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First Day
It wasn’t what I expected. Most offices shown on television were loud – you have the din of copiers, fax machines, chatty employees, the endless shuffling of papers in that susurring hiss of too many things to do in a day. And then there...
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Nobody Here Has Ever Seen The Message "PC LOAD LETTER"
Perhaps even more alarming than all of these things was the photocopier. One of the unbreakable laws of Office Physics is that the photocopier cannot, under any circumstances, copy any amount of paper for any great length of time. It’s just not d...
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Il Postino
“So, does it break down often?” I asked Marcy as she was busy making six copies of a phone-book-sized insurance policy. “Oh good heavens, no! That would be awful!” She looked at me as if I’d asked whether the copier tap-da...
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You've Got Mail
There was something untrustworthy about him. I didn’t like it. I hadn’t liked any of it so far, in fairness, but this little man rubbed me the wrong way. He was smiling, oh, he was smiling, but I was certain that underneath that smile lay t...
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Happy To Help
“Uhm,” I squeaked out, and Gary glanced up from the UPS box, brows raised in question. “I was told I had a mail box in here?” I continued warily. “Of course!” He slapped the printed label on the box with a nod, dropp...
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Welcome to The Company
The memo was jocular, friendly, coherent, pleasant. It outlined my importance, my value within the company. It had jokes in it that made fun of my immediate supervisor, the CEO of the company, the company itself and stockholders. It had the warmth of a...
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Learning Curves Ahead
“Hello,” she greeted me in a melodic voice. “I hope you’re finding everything okay on your first day?” “Yeah,” I choked out, offering what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “Everything’s great.”...
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Where Would You Like To Go Today?
I’ve used any number of internal computer systems before, all with silly acronym names. Names like SABS, or SMS, or SAP, and so on. This system had a similar name: LCARS, although Kat says that the person who designed it had long ago left the com...
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Jonesing For Trouble
“The coffeemaker is broken!” The panicked announcement two cubes over startled me from my work, and I glanced up at Marcy as she approached my cube, a frown puckering her brows. “Did you hear? The coffeemaker isn’t working,̶...
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We All Fall Down
Most of the staff, content with the Godly coffee available in the kitchen, had long since abandoned Starbucks and had forgotten what their coffee tasted like (for the record, it tastes like the charred remains of the concept of what coffee might have b...
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The House Always Wins
I watched the intern struggle, debating whether or not to say anything to him. “Would you like some help?” I asked finally, inexplicably disappointed by the copier’s breakdown. First the coffee, now this. Soon, the stereotypes would s...
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Marching Orders
I glanced around at the worried faces; this place just couldn’t be for real anyway, and I was curious to see just why the Controller scared them all so much. It’s always good when the New Guy takes initiative, I told myself, and raised my h...
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DOOM!
I knocked on the door. Nothing. I knocked again, and the nothing continued, uninterrupted. “Hello?” called. Only silence answered. I turned the handle and walked in. The room was dark – the lights were off, the curtains were pulled, i...
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Behind the Curtain
I stood dumbly before the empty desk for several minutes before deciding on a careful search. Perhaps there was a manual, or a memo indicating who was the Controller’s second in command. Something. The layer of dust created an even grey film over...