Stories tagged “dark humor”
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the so-called lucky survivor's lament
It’s been five – no, wait. It’s been seven – Has it really been a week? Only a week? More than a week? You know what? Fuck it. It doesn’t matter. Time doesn’t mean anything, anymore. It’s not like I have to kno...
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Suvivor's Lament (part deux)
I’ve seen my fair share of shit since this thing started; we all have. So I don’t get why no one else fucking understands that there is no “getting through this”. And that smell! I bet when you watched all those zombie movies gr...
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The World May Be Done, But Love Is Never-ending
I finally found her. I must have tracked that no-good bitch for days after she got away from me. I thought when her new man was out of the picture it would all be easy. I hadn’t noticed how many of the shambling bastards were in the bushes the n...
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It's a Standard Form, I Assure You
This document is to confirm the business transaction between our organization and the prospective client. By signing this you agree to the terms henceforth laid out: our organization will provide one (1) service of any kind within our ability at the re...
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A Conversation
“Oh shit. Shit! This is bad. This is really bad.” “Yeah, you wanna state the obvious a lot or do you wanna help find some weapons?” “Weapons? This is a fucking office building. Unless you plan on stapling a zombie to death...
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IT's (Not by Stephen King)
It guffaws from the thick forestry Hillside adjacent To where we are Laughing its deep lament of poetry (Meanwhile, the moons of Jupiter languish on a star) We can’t be complacent! It saw fear in our stare It smells flesh in our scent Like our ...
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Clean Underwear
Didn’t your mother ever tell you, “Make sure you put on clean underwear because you never know when you might be in a car accident?” Mine sure did. I don’t really know why it matters, though. If you’re in a car accident, u...