Stories tagged “dear”
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Dear God, from Mama Velociraptor 2
Dear God, I tried to eat Caveboy Billy like you said. I chased him up against a cliff. He was delicious. Then I saw Caveboy Billy hanging around outside his cave, talking to Sue. Dammit. They all look alike. Can I still eat Billy? Amen, Mama Velocirapt...
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Dear Caveman Bob, from God
Dear Caveman Bob, I eat stars when I’m hungry. It’s called entropy. Also? It does a great job of showing off my divine powers. Tell all your friends, God
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Dear God, from Caveboy Billy 2
Dear God, I heard that Cousin Buddy was eaten by a mama velociraptor the other day. I think I saw her eyeing me yesterday while Sue was over at our cave. You don’t think she wants to eat me, do you? Amen, Caveboy Billy
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Dear Martians, from God
Dear Martians, I’m waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of you on that whole dramatic meteor shower thing. Those dinosaurs won’t be bothering you for much longer. Love, God
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Dear God, from Caveman Bob 5
Dear God, The party was sooooooooooooooo awesome. You make the greatest stuff. Rotten honey is just… is just… awesome. Why’d’ya hold out on us? Amen, Caveman Bob
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Dear God, from Caveboy Billy 3
Dear God, This fire stuff hurts. I hate you! Amen, Caveboy Billy PS. Please don’t kill me!
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Dear God, from Mama Velociraptor 3
Dear God, Is this your punishment for eating the wrong human? My new brood hatched today, and they are LOUD. Really, Caveman Bob can take one or two of them if he’s really hungry. Amen, Mama Velociraptor
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Loving from a Distance
I look into his deep blue eyes and I see compassion. I run my fingers through his curly red hair and feel intimacy. I press my lips to his soft cheek and melt. I wrap my arms around him and feel comfort. I look at his smile and see all the good things ...
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Hhmmph
I’d love to experience the pain I’ve made you go through. Even if it fails at returning you to me, watching you go through minor physical pain made me want to save you. Your screams? They sounded so real and I felt so helpless. I wish I cou...
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Sarcasm
Sarcasm, My dear That’s all that was, Deer in the headlights, My dear My sweet Simple Know-it-all I could break you down Like a gingerbread house, And enjoy it to But I’m simply Not a simpleton, Like you