Stories tagged “funny”

  • That Creepy Old Man. (Mature)

    Walking home from school, seeing the sun placed at the horizon, Jimmy is slightly horrified by his dark town. As he is walking as fast as he can, he notices many people passing by him About 9 blocks from his house he notices an old man staring straigh...

  • Spaceship tragedies

    “Rear engines are down, weapons are offline and there is a fire in the engine room” said brian, “Any suggestions?” replied dave “well for one you could watch how you are holding your coffee” “…..Oh shit&#...

    • Author: Henjo
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • A Regular Joe

    He was an ordinary man. He lived on 773 Washington Avenue, in a little house that was halfway paid off. He wasn’t married, and he didn’t have any children (that he knew of). He didn’t even have a dog. He went out to dinner with his gi...

  • A Regular Joe, Part Deux

    The singing was obviously of a woman and when he looked around he saw stucco walls painted a garish peach. Inwardly he shuddered. It was all so strange and ugly to him, and the woman stopped singing. “Jon Pierre,” she called out in a very a...

  • Joke of the week...

    Recently, a practically invisible, spray-on condom has been invented, and has been designed especially for gullible women.

    • Author: The Athiest
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • A Regular Joe, Part Three

    By the time they had arrived at the doctor’s, Jon was quite perturbed by the fact that this was as real as it was going to get. This was Paris, then? This was crazy. Looking at his … wife’s? … stomach was reality enough that who...

  • Three Blind Mice in 10 Words

    They lose their tails… No, really. That’s the whole story.

  • Description of a Lover

    He isn’t perfect But who would want him to be He is dorky That’s what makes him stand out He isn’t afraid to compliment With an open heart he speaks He is as strong as he needs to be It’s enough to make anyone safe He isnt a fig...

  • BANG! What?!

    BANG! “What did you do that for?” “He was sayin’ some things.” “You didn’t have to shoot the guy!” “Why not?” “Because!” “Because why?” “You just don’t! Ah ...

    • Author: Steve Saylor
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Rusted Locket - Part I

    I think we have a special brand of fun here in Crisp Crick Hallow, excuse me, just Crisp Crick. We called our quaint town Crisp Crick Hallow back in the day however changed it after we read Sleepy Hallow. Besides, “Why would a Hallow be near a Cr...

    • Author: Steve Saylor
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Rusted Locket - Part II

    Sipper Trazinotch would describe Badgison Wit Lundy as a Tall Glass of Water. But, he calls everyone and everything a tall Glass of Water, except Tall Glasses of Water. He calls those large transparent cylinders of clear liquid. Sipper is weird. Badgis...

  • The Rusted Locket - Part III

    My baby’s like the blowin’ wind He lifts me up I’m carried off again Tizzy Moone stared at the man who walked into The Rusted Locket as she sang and Mank Millard was playing the ivorys. My baby blows holes in my heart When I hear he&#...

  • Todd: The Genius

    Looking up from his microscope every minute or so to jot a note on the yellow pad, Fred worked with intense focus. His lab coat had some grunge stains on it from outside. He’d dropped his keys and, as chaos dictates, they found a way to land under hi...

    • Author: Browncoatben
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Rock 'Em Gauntlet

    I went in there that night looking for trouble. I sat alone at the bar and ordered a bowl of Skittles. Damn rainbow of goodness. The guy behind the counter looked like he could handle himself in a fight. He had a certain menacing quality to him. The he...

  • Uncle Jim

    Even though Jim was an alcoholic, his quirky good looks made him stand out in a crowd. He was left-handed, with jet-black hair, light-blue eyes, and broad shoulders. He often wore a faded denim jacket, camouflage hat, and a pair of black combat boots. ...

  • The sword of mine soul

    He walked into the tent. “I know why you’re here. I have one for you.” said the Smithy by the forge. Macavity wondered why the tent had never caught alight before. “A sword?” “This is Hawkswift. It’s crossguard...

    • Author: H.S. Wift
    • Posted over 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • The lengths we go to...

    Night time. Or it could have been day. Noone can tell down here. A scuttling sound. His grip tightened on the pommel of his sword. He turned swiftly on one foot. The blade hissed through the air. Three goblin heads rolled, their green bodies bouncing o...

  • The Rusted Locket - Part IV

    As the Buncle brothers would say, Wit would make an alcoholic want to get into rehab, the way he was drinking tonight. Wit was pounding shot after shot of Rusted Whiskey to the point where I only had one bottle left in my pantry. “I’m cutti...

  • Worth Every Penny

    Sitting by the roadside … still picking glass out of my hair … I wonder what will happen next. I’d called … who will they send … what questions will they ask? Then, head lights … an older women. She walks up to me, asks what...

  • The body of the fight

    Henry ‘Heart’ Harrison ran forward to the car. He was the bravest of the team. “Hmm… I need a second opinion. Eyes, Brain, get over here”. Egbert Ethelson and Brian Burnham joined him and peered under the cloth. “Is ...

    • Author: H.S. Wift
    • Posted over 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Glasses Hate Bowls

    “Hey guys, come on in! The bubbles are great!” “Man, look at all these people! Can’t believe they’re all fitting in here so comfortably.” “I know, right? And this water is SO warm!” “Hey, guys! How&...

  • We are just going to have to make due.

    In a small farming town, a young man stands outside his father’s den. He takes a few deep breaths – he has to do this. He’s heard other people’s stories, both good and bad; the talk went okay with momma, but daddy still has to know. The den...

  • Even they need a general meeting I imagine.

    General crowd noise “Morning Sam” “Morning Ralph” “So how’s everything on your side of the floor” “Good! Workplace injuries are down, speed is up, the ideas flying around seem good, and the new pups are reall...

  • Alice in Ponderland

    The three forms appeared with a burst of light. “Wow, Alice!” exclaimed the Mad Hatter furtively, “You’ve transporater-me-whatsited us” “Yes, but where are we?” inquired the March Hare. At that moment, a voice ...

    • Author: H.S. Wift
    • Posted over 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Sex for a Year (Mature)

    Day 1: January 26, 2010 When I awoke at 6:45 AM, my first thoughts were about the neurologist’s appointment I had with Dr. Herzog at the Texas Neurologist Associate’s building in Suite 100. It’s lovely to start one’s day with the idea (drawn fr...