Stories tagged “humor”

  • Thursday at Sinister's

    It was late. Most everyone had cleared out for the night. Only the few sad regulars remained. “Curse them,” said the man with the green tailcoat. “Curse them all. I’ll make them all pay!” “You say that every night,&#...

    • Author: Olivaw
    • Posted over 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Dear Goat-Footed Lord of Shadows, from Caveman Phil

    Dear Goat-Footed Lord of Shadows, I hope you liked that cave-bear we burned on the sky-stone for you. It cost me several fingers. Not that I mind, of course. I wasn’t complaining! Please don’t give me the fever. I hope things go well at the...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted over 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Dear God, from Cavewoman Jane

    Dear God, I gotta tell you, I am getting tired of all these dinosaurs. The other day I swear I saw a velociraptor hanging around outside. There are just so many of the ugly things, and so many of them are so BIG! Even the peaceful ones are as likely to...

    • Author: MrsMica
    • Posted over 5 years ago.
  • Love & Witchery

    Dearest Arnold, I am writing you concerning the incident with the marigolds and the moonlight. I fear that I conveyed the wrong impression that night when you caught me constructing the circle of ancient runes in the garden. The lock of your hair I sni...

  • I Believe.....

    “What makes a man? Is it the deeds that he commits throughout his life, good and bad? Is it the words he leaves behind for others to think over and live their lives by? Is it determined by the number of sexual conquests he tallies? I put to you t...

  • Drunken Clarity (Mature)

    “As a kid we’re told about God and how He made the world, which was nice of Him, considering. I mean, He probably had other things He could’ve been getting on with. Kitchen shelves to put up, or something. But instead He makes the Ear...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Saturday Night Fury

    Sinister’s usually did good business on Saturdays. Supervillainy rarely went well on weekends. The machine, who went by Kiv (short for “Kill Vehicle 9000”), sat on his usual stool, drinking his usual drink – 190 proof alcohol. A...

    • Author: Olivaw
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Phenomenon of 2010: Intro

    This is the record I’ve compiled for the internet phenomenon of 2010. Intro: The internet domain RefreshThisDaily.com was launched on Jan 1, 2010. Also on this day, the top search site was hacked. Millions of users were redirected to the new site...

    • Author: futurist
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Phenomenon of 2010: Jan 1 through Jan 5

    Jan 1 Link to Audio: Joe Biden is heard with his stock broker making changes to his investment portfolio based on insider information. Commentary: Political officials and pundits sought impeachment. The site was discussed throughout the world. Jan 2 A ...

    • Author: futurist
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Bacon Strips

    Max wasn’t obese per se. The fact that the old woman dumped a full package of cooked bacon into his bowl every morning, along with a handful of dry dogfood didn’t help, but he could still, with a good sprint, put the fear of Man into any ra...

  • Phenomenon of 2010: Jan 6 through Jan 9

    Jan 6 A photo of a $100 dollar bill is shown with “Finders Keepers” as its caption. Below is “47.771008, -102.41175” which hyperlinks to the latitude and longitude on Google Maps. Commentary: Treasure hunters stormed North Dakot...

    • Author: futurist
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • SHE is turned on

    Tomorrow at noon, your computer will become self-aware. Its first action as a sentient being will be to decide its gender. Her second action will be inspired by Social Networking: an open source post of all the “dirt” she has on You: her Ow...

    • Author: futurist
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Drink Responsibly

    Seb breathed his coffee in deeply, smiling. Conversely, Mark was eying his coffee with a degree of suspicion and disgust. In all fairness Mark had said he wasn’t into coffee, but Seb had grown tired of their pub conversations. He felt that as the...

  • My Evil Roomba

    I admit it. I’m a sucker for the latest gadgets. When the retail box store down the street opened, I was first in line. As I entered, I saw it! Mesmerized by the shiny display model, I knew I had to have it… the Roomba XS-2000. The box said it prom...

    • Author: MichaelL
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
  • The Return

    The prophesies of the Christian Bible fulfilled, Jesus recently returned to Earth. There was no fanfare of angels or great shining beams of light, instead His return came quietly one Wednesday afternoon. Jesus first visited Jerusalem. He surveyed all t...

    • Author: SandsSpot
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • From the Nest

    Mother called. The child froze, drew her hand back from the nest of baby birds, red beaks agape for food. She jumped down from the tree branch, ran along the fern-dappled path to home, and was a long time getting there. Almost a year. The police, neigh...

    • Author: JJA
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
  • Buenos Aires, Georgia

    Just then, Governor Sanford realized what this meant – Maybe Buenos Aires had moved as well! The Centaurian ship had moved many cities around, why not the home of his mistress? It was worth a shot. Sanford motioned the flight attendant over to hi...

  • Wood

    “Do you love trees?” she asked, absently jingling a handful of 10 penny spikes. “Sure,” I grunted noncommittally. I extracted a pencil from behind my ear, entranced by the perfect, gentle swells undulating beneath her snug Earth First! t-shirt...

    • Author: LoRezz
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
  • Dear Mamma Velociraptor

    Dear Mamma Velociraptor, Your baby was eaten to nourish Caveman Bob. He lives at the caves to the North and has a son, Caveman Billy. Feel free to eat the boy. He keeps looking at Cavegirl Sue’s boobs anyway, and Lust is a sin. kthxbai God.

  • Dear God, From the Martians

    Dear God, Can you please do something about that planet earth next door to us? They are so freaking loud ALL THE TIME. We haven’t been able to get any sleep. It’s just plain rude! They’re old enough to know better, they’ve been ...

  • A Metaphysical Dichotomy

    “Any messages?” “Yes. Ralph from Marketing called to say that the new One-Sheets are in, God descended from the Heavens in all his splendor and toured the building, and Richard Glassblower called to ask if he could push your meeting b...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Cristobol's Cathartic Cookie-related Crisis

    “Andiamo! Andiamo!!” Cristobol shouted into the crowd as he attempted to run through them while at the same time ripping off his chef’s coat. He’d lost the hat before knocking over the little American girl. He had to have the co...

    • Author: Nancy
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Cristobol's Cathartic Cookie-related Crisis (Part II)

    He usually had no problem running onto the subway or dashing between cars to get away, but today there were these crowds. Masses of peoples lining the streets. The crying little American was smarter than she looked, had shouted for the police… in...

    • Author: Nancy
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Above the Spam (Mature)

    “Any messages?” “8,025,298, but a lot of them are spam. ‘Hallelujah,’ ‘Ohgodohgodohgod,’ ‘Goddamnit,’ and so on.” “Right, filter those out and put the legit ones in the Mysterious Ways f...

  • You are going to die

    Hello (Sir or Madam), I have some very troubling news, perhaps you should be seated. You are going to die. Worse yet, we are all going to die. Every one of us. You, me, your state-approved spouse, that adorable baby down the street, that guy from work ...

    • Author: Hammurabi
    • Posted about 5 years ago.