Stories tagged “humor”

  • Discovered, Understood, Implemented

    As I peruse around The numbers I see astound, Correct, cajole, compel, command: “Comment continually! Keep it coming!” Chastised, I commit to carefully (if I can) Keeping a consciously crafted Comment-to-story ratio Well fitting with Ficly...

  • Bricking it (Mature)

    King Karl looked the tall architect squarely in the knees, exasperated. “Bob, what the fuck?” Bob’s knees squirmed awkwardly under the King’s well-practiced scrutiny. It had been a long time since one of his castles had collapse...

    • Author: StudioMax
    • Posted almost 5 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Don't Quit your day job.

    The wizard walked up to the door and hit it a few times with his staff. Nothing. He gave it a small push with his hand – still nothing. But, you have to check. Few things are worse than spending hours casting all kinds of spells only to find out tha...

  • Breakfast Gone Bad

    Fur matted to his scrawny body from the rain, the ragged little cat made his way up the hill. Vultures watched in the trees above waiting for their morning meal. The cats head hung low, his legs dragging. Reaching the top he collapsed, rolled over on h...

    • Author: Yobeeone
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Skinless Human

    “What is it?” “I don’t know.” The two kittens sat staring at the odd little thing on the ground. “It looks like a skinless human,” whispered Jeffie. “A really little human,” replied Bindi. Jeffie po...

    • Author: Yobeeone
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Little Hitchhiker

    The little guy strained against the hurricane force winds. His muscles felt as though they would snap any second and his arms rip from their sockets. His fingers gripped the window’s edge like a vise. Becoming a hitchhiker wasn’t exactly on...

    • Author: Yobeeone
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Problem

    Well y’see… ah was checking out yer bit rate there, and ah noticed yer PRAM wasn’t getting enough ethernet, which as you prolly know uses a lot’a binary. So ah popped open tha hard drive and sho’nuff, tha CPU ain’t b...

    • Author: Jason Month
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Bite of the Werecat

    “There’s a werewolf in the barn!” called Jeffie. “It’s dead and really stinky!" Bindi raced off to see the smelly lump lying in the hay. Half it’s face and butt were missing. “Are you sure it’s a werewol...

    • Author: Yobeeone
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
  • The Boyfriend Scenario

    Mark had often described women as “stunners” but this was the first time he had actually been stunned into silence by an attractive woman. She sat across the pub, drinking very little and looking beautiful. In fact he’d been so transf...

  • Adventures of a Department Store Associate

    I am the Queen of the Fitting Room Empire. I try to rule it well, but any kingdom is given to tantrums at times. When all should be in order, it is not. When rooms should be empty and neat, they are overflowing, items on the walls and racks and seats ...

    • Author: emily.ruth
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Scientific Frontiers

    Tim may be the finest mind humanity had ever known, and yet when he tells other researchers what his field is, they scoff. This was because he is the world’s foremost expert on Headphone Physics. Headphone Physics is a catch-all term for a common...

  • Next In Line

    The expanse of the cosmos spread from my fingertips, a living map that responded to my touch. There were so many details to get right. While it was true that my power was virtually unlimited, things were much more interesting when I limited myself, lik...

    • Author: Robert Quick
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Let's Die!

    Let’s die! You and I. Without asking why Or saying good bye. No caring. No whimper. No cry. No big fuss Because I Would just Like to know What it’s like to ultimately let go. Your life is only the making of Death: The Show. Come on! DonR...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Stonehenge: SOLVED!

    I want revenge Because I know the real reason for Stonehenge. Bear with me Cause this one’s a grizzly! Aliens landed upon our planet, Crafted a great calendar out of granite, Then altered mankind’s mind! Making sure it was simpleton By comparis...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • More About The Narrator: For Lighty :)

    My soul is still as stone At home inside my bricks of bone And blanketing flesh Drawing breaths with the pens I own See-sawing on the crest Of wearing tuxedos like a clone Or walking around undressed Flashing back like I’m spotlight prone

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted almost 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • The Plot Point Kid

    “How was your day?” “Good”, he replies, grabbing a cereal bowl from the cabinet above the dishwasher. “Cereal for dinner, again? Don’t you want to eat dinner with your dad and me?” “Nope” “Wel...

  • We couldn't have fit anymore in if we tried.

    We couldn’t have fit any more in if we tried, at least that’s what I told myself. My heart sunk, as the guiness book of world records official handed the trophy to the other team. Maybe Charlie was too fat or maybe Marlene was too tall̷...

  • Pregnant Psychobabbling Babe

    Canyon lake Lay cradled— picture perfect fake Through the windshield of my Hyundai One Sunday My psychobabbling babe, She says, “honey” Her lips syllabled Something sunny Like… “Someday soon My patient cocoon Will open in...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted over 3 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Imagine!

    Imagine shoes that look like socks That wash like socks With mesh lining on top covered by sock material socks Made of flexible, durable rubber that rolls on and off like socks White socks, purple socks, any color socks Imagine, shoe and sock needs all...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted over 3 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Fall

    Dennis had spent rather a lot of time and, counter-intuitively, effort trying to avoid doing his job. He didn’t like his job, a fact made all the more frustrating to him by the smiles of his colleagues who seemed to enjoy that same profession. Th...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 3 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Of Course, He Always Had Pale Skin

    “Bloody Twilight. Y’know, I really don’t like the way Stephanie Meyer dicked about with the vampire mythos. Vampires don’t sparkle.” “Yeah. And they’re not vegetarian.” “And they don’t play ba...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 3 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • IT's (Not by Stephen King)

    It guffaws from the thick forestry Hillside adjacent To where we are Laughing its deep lament of poetry (Meanwhile, the moons of Jupiter languish on a star) We can’t be complacent! It saw fear in our stare It smells flesh in our scent Like our ...

  • Pun Poem Just For Fun Poem

    Be great. lyrically lacerate. Fully incapacitate hate With all of love’s hug weight (And love is a big sassy black woman).

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted over 3 years ago.
    • 3 out of 5