Stories tagged “humour”

  • First Contact

    Mankind’s first contact with aliens was not a ceremonious affair. There were no fanfares, no parades, no celebrations. On the other hand, there were also no ominous ships in the sky or aliens with very dated-looking Ray Guns vaporizing humans wit...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Vertigo Vigilante

    Darren Hardly wanted to be a superhero. He fit the bill nicely – he was tall and muscular, with that perfect jawline you only see in comic books, the kind you could use to open tins with. He was strong, intelligent, and he could run remarkably fa...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • On the Subject of the Morning After

    “No,” said Seb. “There’s much more to life than just sleeping around.” “You’re right,” Mark replied, smiling. “There’s sneaking out before they wake up again.” He took a sip of his pint....

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Grammar-Man Vs. The Mayor!

    The Mayor stood by the window, looking out at the city below. “I’m sorry, Grammar-Man, but this don’t fly.” “This doesn’t fly,” said Grammar-Man. “Shut up,” snapped the Mayor. "You’ve sav...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Dark Chocolate

    “There’s no two ways about it,” said his lawyer. “You’re gonna have to settle.” Charlie sunk his head into his hands and groaned. Here he was, barely three days into the job, and he’d been faced with four class...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Agency 51-X

    It was the most impressive undertaking the government had ever been part of. In 1997 President Clinton set up an agency with a cool-sounding name to monitor alien traffic going to and from the planet, because he’d just seen “Men In Black...

  • Plight of the Caveman

    It had not been a great day for Ugh so far. It started when a bear lurched into his cave, and decided it was a rather nice cave all things considered, and that actually Ugh was the only thing in the cave he didn’t like, and so had attacked him. U...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Syntax Error

    99%… 100%. Compilation complete. Sam sat at the computer, his finger hovering over F10. “Aren’t you going to start it up, Doc?” Sam winced; Danni was a skillful assistant, but she had no sense of the importance of this moment. H...

    • Author: Ten
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Drunken Clarity (Mature)

    “As a kid we’re told about God and how He made the world, which was nice of Him, considering. I mean, He probably had other things He could’ve been getting on with. Kitchen shelves to put up, or something. But instead He makes the Ear...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Fad of Life

    “It’s just a fad,” I whispered. For some reason my voice resonates when I am in church. “What is,” queried the woman looking confused and teary. “Life. “Life is not a fad,” her hackles snapped into action. “Yes. Yes it is. It comes an...

    • Author: Copernicus
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Fantasyland I

    “I thought knights were supposed to be honourable,” the boy was covered in mud and bits of straw, tufts of matted hair made his head look strangely oblique. “You’ve been reading too many Dragonlance novels kid,” the knight muffled through his...

  • Fantasyland II

    Harold never wanted to be a knight, he wanted to be a wizard but his father had other ideas. “You’re not going to get around with those poncy wizards wearing those ridiculous silly pointy hats and those dresses with stars and moons on them,” his ...

  • Fantasyland III

    Harold had few dealings with werewolves in the past, in fact he made it a point of it to avoid them and their undead brethren. There was something about the undead that caused Harold’s stomach to tie itself into knots before trying to escape via ...

  • Fantasyland IV

    Meanwhile across town a meeting, a supposedly very secret one, was taking place. The only thing was someone forgot to tell Henry. He heard about it at the Imps Grotto Inn from a slightly inebriated and incoherent troll, who had heard about it from a m...

  • Fantasyland V

    “Planning a revolution shoudn’t be this hard,” the cloaked man sighed from the head of the table. Henry decided, due to normal seating convention that person was the leader of this rabble and his name was Supreme Leader, or Steve. &#...

  • Fantasyland VII

    The werewolf’s gaze flicked from Harold to the small child and back to Harold. The child had edged back so far he was pinned against the wall. “So what you offer me is a small mud coated morsel when I can have you, the main course,” the werewolf ...

  • Fantasyland IX

    Supreme Leader Steve entered his office locking the door before moving towards a large skeleton, its arm extended, a finger pointing as if to caution him. He unbuttoned the heavy robe and hung it from the finger along with a short sword before dragging...

  • Fantasyland X

    “A trek,” Gloria’s small button nose scrunched up flaring like a prize-winning stallion. “Yes,” Carl said as he strapped the long sword to his side giving the leather one last snap to make sure it was tight, “a trek.” “To the capital, a...

  • Fantasyland XI

    “We’re clichés and not in a cute way but an unoriginal bad way,” the wizard, whose name happened to be Gary, said perusing the Inn. He was among four souls waiting for Gloria and Carl to arrive. “I know,” Emma, the group’s token h...

    • Author: Copernicus
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 3 out of 5
  • Drink Responsibly

    Seb breathed his coffee in deeply, smiling. Conversely, Mark was eying his coffee with a degree of suspicion and disgust. In all fairness Mark had said he wasn’t into coffee, but Seb had grown tired of their pub conversations. He felt that as the...

  • Fantasyland XII

    Henry hated hanging around waiting for things to happen, he was a go-getter, which is why hanging around in the melancholic dungeon, surrounded by moaning bodies was insufferable. “Is this going to take long,” he asked while being shackled...

  • Fantasyland XIII

    “So let me get this straight,” Henry lifted his head to stare at the guard he had now taken a spot on a chair, “you will feed me, give me water, you WON’T beat me or torture me and all I do is hang here until I die?” ̶...

  • Fantasyland XIV

    Meanwhile in a cluttered room across town a wizard’s nerves got the better of him and he succumbed to a temporary eye twitch. His anxiety was warranted as he was soon about to discover whether he would cause the end of the world or start a new o...

  • Fantasyland XV

    “You can’t just go around bringing garlic bread in and out of existence, it’s just not kosher,” the head wizard said to much baying from a group convened to discuss what had happened over night. “Or any kind of religious ...

  • Fantasyland XVI

    Harold’s werewolf problem had not eased, in fact it was worst. The pair were creeping about each other in a weird dance made more so by the fact that neither Harold nor the werewolf were good dancers. Every time the werewolf lunged, Harold moved....