Stories tagged “irony”

  • This Is My Life (Mature)

    Jack returns and asks where we were in our conversation when he had to tend to his wife. I ask him why does he stay with Karie? You’re only leading yourself into a train wreck of a marriage, I say. Actually, I say, you’re fucked already. She’ll c...

  • Heartless

    As his last breath escaped him the irony didn’t; it was through the stab wound in his back that she ripped out his heart.

  • Time Shirt

    This was possibly the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me. I was lounging around my crummy apartment. The place was a wreck, I had been in and out of prison for three years. My cat had long since left, my possessions run-down. I grew hot, so I ...

    • Author: Sam Ervin
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Not Welcome

    This guy come in Sundy mornin’, right? A’ firs’ I thought he was one uh them hippies or somethin’, with the long hair an’ the raggity clothes, but then he cumma closer an’ I saw he was some kin’ a Ay-rab. An...

    • Author: J.M.V.
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • In the Attic

    He took a last breath and stepped off the chair. The rope went taught and he bounced a bit. He heard a snap, but it was partially to be expected. Soon it wouldn’t matter. 13 hours later he still hung there in the attic. The recoil had broken his ...

    • Author: Ronnie
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • All Sorts Of Confusing

    “You asked me, and I told you.” I agreed with her. “But obviously its something you were trying to hide, so I should have pretended I didn’t notice.” I felt myself turning red. “Devon, I can handle the truth.” ...

    • Author: Lone Writer
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Fires of Hades

    He stood there panting, watching, waiting. Every muscle in his body was alight with a teatherball yellow flame from effort. Blood slid down the blade and splashed like sand into a small pool. The demon watched him, searching him for weakness. The other...

    • Author: Ronnie
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Ode to Iambic Pentameter

    So here write I on iambs pentametric In sonnet form, Italian in style I’m told. What once I loved has, I think, grown quite old. It makes me ill most vi’lently electric. While I now laud in falsehood this one metric I find that I am really ...

    • Author: Abstract
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
    • 3 out of 5
  • Afterparty (Mature)

    “Sweet! And it only took four? Talk about easy!” “Well, it was taking forever, and her friend was being a total cunt about it all, so I just spiked the fourth cup. Saves time, y’know?” “Yeah. I hate when they show up...

    • Author: B. Booth
    • Posted over 10 years ago.
  • Irony

    Irony is ice cream made from lactose intolerant cows. Irony is a sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust who has a serious case of autophobia. Irony is a morbidly obese personal trainer. Irony is a white guy with an afro. Irony is a company that prints ou...

  • Justifiable Homicide

    “Time to get up!” Ohgodwhattimeisit? I wonder, cracking one bleary eye to stare at the baleful red glow of my bedside alarm clock. “It’s only ten,” I mumble, annoyed by the holiday weekend wake-up. “Your room is a me...

    • Author: B. Booth
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • IRONY, MOTHERF*CKER

    TYPING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS HURTS YOUR HEAD. YOU CAN’T FOCUS ON THE STORY WITHOUT FOCUSING ON THE DELIVERY, WHICH MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU’RE YELLING, OR AN IDIOT. OR BOTH. BESIDES, IF YOU HATE SOMETHING, THERE ARE PLENTY OF WAYS TO GO ABOU...

    • Author: Sam Ervin
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • But…

    But then, despite my sincerest efforts not to do so, I tripped.

    • Author: Abstract
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The art of painlessness

    ‘Say what you like about serial monogamy,’ declared Annette, ‘I value the process of elimination. I’ve learned what I want and what I won’t stand for. And Chris knows the same. No need for all that codependent angst.’...

    • Author: Coccinella
    • Posted almost 11 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • The Worst Thing To Say In A Hospital

    “I’m sorry, you have a massiverism.” “Isn’t there something you can do?” “Well, you’re very lucky that it isn’t 2010, because we wouldn’t have been able to do anything about one this big, but ...

    • Author: H.S. Wift
    • Posted almost 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Samsky's Sandwich Hut

    Old man Boone hobbled into Samsky’s Sandwich hut, just like he did every Sunday afternoon. He ordered the sauerkraut sandwich and sat at his regular table. He sat at the table in the back corner of the restaurant where no one could see him. His cane ...

  • What Are The Chances?

    It was in the early morning when he slopped into my 24-hour convenience store, dripping wet from the cataclysmic thunderstorm outside. I watched him approach the door thanks to the many lightning strikes illuminating the outside. He was my first custom...

  • Rising

    “It’s done, Malik,” I murmured. “The cops will be here any minute.” He glowered at me— crying? Pissed. “What are you going to do?” He bellowed. “What the hell are you gonna do without me?” I l...

  • Unconventional

    The sun shone down upon the party, the sky clear and blue. We stood round, silent in our respect as the cask began to be lowered. There was a moment where time slowed, and I was imprisoned within the silent musings that death thrusts upon us all. Then ...

    • Author: memento
    • Posted almost 9 years ago.
  • The Generous Hell

    When I arrived in Hell I expected brimstone, fire and anguish. Well, that was all there in ready supply, but no one really ever bothered with it. Instead we all sit around waiting for the next delivery of half-used hand-me-downs from the Saints for Sin...

    • Author: Yamen
    • Posted over 8 years ago.
  • Beginners Luck

    Underneath Henna’s passenger seat, there was a machete, a 38 Special, and a rusted sickle with a missing handle. Janis quietly felt the shape of each, wondering how long it’d be before Henna decided he’d kill her.Perhaps it was a good...

  • The Night I Got Arrested...

    M.M. Guilbert – The name on the jumpsuit. A hot blonde – The officer wearing said jumpsuit. Me – the guy wishing he wasn’t in her custody at the moment. Well, maybe not. Maybe I could convince her that this was all a mistake. Th...

  • Irony (Mature)

    The man inhales deeply on his cigarette and holds the cancer in as long as he can. He exhales slowly as if he is saying goodbye to a dear friend, and shakes his head. “Yeah. Yeah I was like everyone else. Finding a genie in a bottle, pure fiction...

  • Always Wish With Protection

    This is the fourth genie encounter you’ve heard about in the past month. All of them end the same way—the first schmuck asks for two billion dollars, next day: crushed in a houseful of nickels. Next girl talks to you in the checkout line...

    • Author: Stovohobo
    • Posted about 7 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5